I haven’t been writing as often lately here – I have too much to say. Sort of backwards if you think about it, but it’s true. There are so many things I want to write about that I just don’t even know where to begin. There’s that marathon recap I’ve been meaning to write and on my run the other day I thought hey, maybe I’ll recap RNR San Antonio half, yes I liked that race, I’ll write about that…..but time is limited these days and though I have too much to say I have less time to say it. I’m living life more and talking about it less, which for me, is a very good thing. I am someone who has an addictive personality {this is both good and bad} and it’s easy to get addicted to being online more than one probably should.

I still plan on talking about China, promise.

Yesterday I went to see my grandfather for Father’s Day and he asked all about it. I found myself talking 100 miles an hour in an excited voice. My grandmother didn’t get why anyone would actually want to go to China to run The Great Wall Marathon when there are tons of marathons all around the world….why pick that one. I found myself giving a very convincing argument as to why this race should be on every marathoners bucket list. The argument was pretty good, if I do say so myself, it actually made me think that maybe I’d love to return back to China and do it again one day.

Blogging is very in the moment. Once the moment has passed you wonder if there is a point in writing about what happened months ago. This girl writes every once in a while and I love getting her updates in my inbox. Somehow she makes what happened months ago still seem interesting, so I’m just going to go with what I want to do and write about what I want to write about, when I want to write about it. Sort of makes me sound like a ten-year old protesting but hey, I’m not sure if I care how it makes me sound. I’m actually really tired of always worrying how I sound, or if I offend someone, or if the words I wrote were twisted, or if someone might take what I say and completely read something in to it that’s not there. I’m tired of the egg shells.

Saturday I ran 6 miles with no watch. Haven’t run without a watch in a while and I was trying to see if I had no idea what the pace was if it would make me feel better. It didn’t work…..

I’ve been getting dizzy lately on runs….actually I shouldn’t say lately – it’s been going on for a while {though it has become more frequent recently}….it was one of the main reasons I decided not to run RNR DC 1/2 as well as Boston Marathon.

I prayed like a crazy person when I was in China, that it wouldn’t happen during the race. It didn’t – thankfully – because there is no pushing through once it happens. It has meant I have walked home on many a run lately and I’m sick and tired of it.

A couple of weeks ago I fell at the end of a run. One second I was fine and the next second the trail twisted upside down {first time it had happened that bad} and I was on the ground. Scared the CRAP out of me….decided it wasn’t in my head and I needed some outside help to help me figure this out.

Went to the doctor {finally} last week and my doctor a. didn’t think I was crazy  and b. is committed to helping me figure this out.

The vertigo test was negative, although I’m skeptical of it….and I’m wondering if maybe it is exercise induced Vertigo? If this is even a thing…I have no clue….

Here is the confusing part….It doesn’t happen on the treadmill, it doesn’t happen when pushing Colton in the stroller, it didn’t happen this morning on my first o’dark-thirty run of the summer.
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It’s not dehydration. I don’t think it is the heat since it started in the winter. I’ve tried eating breakfast before the run, waking up early and eating breakfast earlier, carrying water on my run, carrying electrolytes on my run….I’m not sure what else to try at this point….but I’m open to suggestions! I miss racing :(

Anyways my doctor wants me to have some testing done on my heart….I really don’t think it is that but I’ll go just in case, because at this point I’m not sure what else to do. It’s been discouraging to say the very least.

The results of my blood tests should be arriving in the mail today….

BUT moving on to happier thoughts….Father’s Day was wonderful.

The kids and I went to see Gary at his grave. Got the kids slurpees in his honor and we went to tell him Happy Father’s Day. Colton breaks my damn heart every time we go to see him. Yesterday he told me he hopes he comes back alive again. I knew I loved Gary, but the hole in my heart is larger than I thought it would be. That being said I’m so glad he is close and we can go visit him. I ran past him on my run this morning <3

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After that we headed to my grandparents house and surprised my grandfather. He is such an adorable old man and I love him oh so much. He slipped and fell this winter and broke his hip. He was in the hospital for a while and I was sure he wasn’t going to make it – but he did and though he is a bit more frail than he used to be – I’d say he is in pretty good shape for 86!

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After that the little people and I went and surprised my dad! He was walking around at the Sully Car Show with his wife, my brother, and my sister and her boyfriend when the littles ran over to him and gave him a big surprise hug. I love watching my dad with my kids. It’s as if you can just see the love for them oozing out of him. On a day when I was missing one father figure from my life, I felt extra thankful for my dad and grandfather.
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Tomorrow I’m heading to North Carolina to visit the Gaia Herbs Farm! Going to miss my little people but looking forward to running somewhere new and learning more about some of my favorite herbs!

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