Once upon a time I loved writing race recaps…..I loved talking about the highs, the lows, the points where I pushed through and the times I wanted to hang up my running shoes forever. This was when there were all of 10 people reading my blog, all of whom were my friends. Friends have a way of reading your words and knowing for the most part, exactly what you are saying. They get the tone of the post, because they know your tone in real life. They know your personal struggles and they celebrate your greatest achievements with you – they know all the S.H.I.T. that you leave off your blog, the words you don’t write.

As of late, I haven’t enjoyed writing recaps. I know what happened at a race – I know my goals – my intentions – I know whether I had fun or whether it was miserable and I was putting on a happy face for the pictures – I know whether my results surprised me or disappointed me.

When commenters leave negative feedback on race posts – it irks me a little.

These aren’t posts where there is an opinion about something that maybe they don’t agree with. It isn’t a post where I ask a question as most bloggers do for comment bait. It’s a post that is 125% about my feelings and how I say MY day happen, yet people put their judgments, opinions and their expectations of what I should or shouldn’t have done based on what they believe I was or wasn’t trying to do. I’m already exhausted as it is most days, so trying to keep up with what someone else thinks I should feel or run or be capable of – NO THANK YOU. I’ve come to realize that no matter what you say in life – people are going to read into things and SEE whatever they want to see.

I wrote a very personal post the other day for Women’s Running about my current fitness level.

I made the mistake of reading the comments left on their facebook page and one really stuck out…. http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2015/01/mile-posts/mile-posts-im-slower-dont-mind_34403

I really wished I hadn’t read this…7:56 avg and she says “I’m slow”…it’s like the skinny girl that says, ” I’m so fat.” Shut up already…

Wow. The comment didn’t sting as much as I thought to myself – DID YOU READ THE ARTICLE? If you did is that really what you took away from it? Did I ever at any point say that 7:56 was slow?

Oh and what about me saying that 2014 was a REALLY hard year for me. Did you think maybe, just maybe you could keep your comment to yourself even if you REALLY wished you hadn’t read it. I am a real person, you know….a person with feelings.

Or did you feel the need to shove me down because you are mad that my pace maybe is faster than yours? And what is it with pace anyways that makes people get all pissy? Why can’t we just agree that pace does not determine how much we love this sport or our dedication level?

Time On The Clock

I do a lot of sharing. On most days I overshare. Even though there is MORE of my life I don’t show you, than there is that I do….I still put more out on the internet than most people do…..with that comes feedback. Sometimes that feedback makes you think – oh good point, I should do that or change that. Then there is the feedback that makes you all-no-way-that-person-is-beyond-wrong at first but then a couple of days later you think, I think they may have been right, that was insensitive or stupid, or even just flat out wrong – I’ve felt like a jerk after some posts I wrote and have wanted to delete more than I can even count. Feedback helps you grow as a person. There however is a drastic difference between feedback and just leaving a negative comment for no reason other than you want to be a jerk that day.

This is why I’ve been sharing less and less my feelings and my thoughts on my races. When I write these posts they are really personal to me…..they are posts I read over and over again because they mean something. So I’ve been moving my race thoughts/feelings/emotions to my journal rather than putting them online. I like it that way.  Recaps and reviews will still appear, but I’m not likely to write a post like this for awhile….if ever again…. http://www.mile-posts.com/b-and-a-trail-marathon/b-a-marathon-2012-race-recap.html

 

I’m a BIG believer that what you put out into this world comes back to you…..be a positive light to others…..

Comments

  1. I appreciated your candor on your post about being slower and sharing those details about your life. My slow is not your slow but the larger ideas we all can share, learn from and be inspired by.
    I found myself wanting you to share more on your recent marathon post! Although I understand your reasons not to go negative.
    The good thing about the internet is that lots of opinions can be shared…this is also the bad thing about the Internet especially under the shield of anonymity! You are awesome and thank you for opening up your life to us–however much you feel comfortable sharing I will gobble up!

  2. I’m so sorry! I have to say I’ve been so naive to the whole “troll” world that exists. It always leaves my with my jaw dropped when I read such hurtful/negative and non-constructive words left from commenters. Journaling the more personal stuff sounds like a great idea. I also think you could just disable comment enabling for posts where you don’t want peoples feedback. I’m still a small blogger with a small audience and have managed to escape any of this so far. I’m super sensitive and not sure how I’d handle seeing negative comments.

  3. I just want to say that as a “slow” runner, I love reading your posts. In fact, I read the exact post you are referring to only yesterday, and never once did I give a second thought to any of your times (ALL of which are faster than mine) being called slow. Don’t let this person steal your joy or change how you share, if that is what you want. I find you inspiring, and believe that most people understand that fast and slow (and the excitement or disappointment with a certain pace) are relative to the runner. I am sure that what you would find to be a disappointing pace is a pace that I would be thrilled about, but that doesn’t matter. That’s the beauty of running. I know where I’ve been and am quite frankly proud of my “slow” times. You know where you’ve been and what to expect out of yourself. I find your blog VERY inspiring. I hope you’ll find that encouraging, and don’t let the negative commenters get to you. If they choose to tear down a total stranger on the internet… well that’s just sad.

  4. I had a blog and killed it two years ago because everyone I knew read it. I wanted the chance to write out my feelings without being judged. I blog for me really. It keeps me accountable. Being taken out of context and judged is just not fun. I am sorry you have had to go through this. Keep your chin up.

  5. I love reading your posts. I look forward to them every time I see them in my Feedly lineup. I rarely comment because I don’t have anything super useful or insightful to put out there. I would say don’t listen to the negative (that’s what I would tell my kids anyway) but I know how easy it is to dwell on negative comments. There are 1000x more of us readers who think you are awesome and inspirering.

  6. I’m a much slower runner than you (notice I didn’t say “I’m a slow runner.”). I’m also normally quite sensitive (and annoyed) when someone who runs a 9-minute per mile pace whines, “I’m SOOOO slow.” You did not do that. It’s perfectly reasonable for you or any other runner to say exactly the kind of thing you did: “I was SLOWER than my goal, my PR, Kara Goucher, etc.” Speed is relative and, IMHO, often irrelevant to anyone but yourself. Please keep sharing your stories and inspiring the rest of us.

  7. You know, i get it. I used to feel so much anger when reading ignorant comments on various issues, and they weren’t even towards me! But honestly, is Molly worthy of a whole post? No, she isn’t. Envy comes out in different ways, and for Molly it comes out as anger. Anger that makes her put other people down because apparently, it makes her feel like the better person. She isn’t.

    I just want you to see that it’s not an attack on you, it’s an attack on herself. I’ll bet she’s thinking “why am I not that fast” or “I will never get to be like her”. It doesn’t excuse her words, but the reality is that there are many negative people out there and they are just not worthy of our time. Instead, focus on the 796 likes, 89 shares and 20 positive comments. Focus on the fact that no other women’s running guest post in recent history (that I could find) has had those numbers.

  8. sharing sets us up for unsolicited feedback — there’s no way around it. it really can be so nasty and unnecessary. wishing you peace and freedom from the negativity.

  9. You are right! Molly is not worthy of an entire post – but this post isn’t really about her – it’s about explaining why I no longer really share my feelings in race recap posts….I used that one comment as an example but could have used any number of recent comments left on my blog. I can’t change how people react to me – I don’t need everyone to like me but my personal blog feels like my space on the internet and I feel that I should be free from people leaving me nasty comments here – if they are constructive criticism that’s one thing – but flat out evil comments have no place. Women’s Running page is completely different and there are bound to be less than nice comments there and I’ve accepted that as something that goes with the territory! Hope all that rambling makes sense.

    And YES you are so right that I should focus on the positive – I try very hard to always do that :) :)

  10. I started a private blog awhile back for that exact reason but then decided I enjoy journaling so why not just write out my feelings. Something special about pen and paper :)

  11. What I honestly don’t get is that I don’t believe all of these people are “trolls” – I think they are moms, sisters, wives, etc – who make a choice to say nasty things to people or about people. Maybe the Women’s Running comment wasn’t the best example because stuff like that rolls off my back – its the people who take the time to leave nasty comments here that I don’t get and after 5 years of this nonsense I decided to say something. I’m not perfect and I certainly have said my fair share of unpleasant things in life, some of them I would take back in a heartbeat some I wouldn’t…but those are the types of things I keep off the internet or text a girlfriend. I have thought about disabling comments on certain post but then I would miss the wonderful ones – so I guess it’s a catch 22 and I just can’t win 😉

  12. I wanted to write more about that post because honestly it was such a fun day for it being such a miserable day. Hours after I finished the race I already had a nasty comment on my blog about the race….some days it’s just not what I want to deal with. I know it goes with the territory but sometimes I just wish that people would give others the benefit of the doubt and not be so judgmental. BUT onwards and upwards – right?!?!

  13. I am so sorry Dorothy but I understand where you are coming from. I had a person write that NO ONE CARES about my fake running life and I SUCK. DO NOT let the bullies behind their keyboards get to you. Is she upset that she doesn’t run as fast or is it because MISERY loves company. I find you very inspiring and I read that article and thought to myself wow I am in awe.

    People need to stop having jerky tendencies and remember everyone has feelings and just because “YOU” are having a bad day it doesn’t give YOU the right to say such mean things to people. I always tell my kids do you want someone to treat you that way and when they say NO, I always follow up with than do as you want to be RESPECTED. I am not nearly as fast as you but I hope some day I will get there. You didn’t wake up one morning and became a super duper fast runner. You earned it with all your dedication and hardwork.

    Give yourself a high five and remember this is 2015 a New Year and you will have a great one.

  14. Please don’t change the way you have been writing your recaps!I love the way you share your feelings and emotions and everything that goes through your mind as you run. We’re always going to have that negative jerk make a stupid evil comment…SHAKE IT OFF!;)
    Focus on the positive, always!
    I find you so inspiring!!! Know that Lord is definitely using you in such positive way, that’s amazing! keep inspiring! Much love from San Antonio :)

  15. Anonymous says:

    All that matters is your last point!

    I’m a BIG believer that what you put out into this world comes back to you…..be a positive light to others…..

  16. Kudos to you for your honesty. People are punks…don’t let them dull your sparkle. You are one very inspiring lady!!!

  17. Look for the good in every situation and if you don’t see any BE THE GOOD. Hang in there, don’t let others people’s opinions stop you from writing what you want to write.

  18. Anonymous says:

    I think people are just tired of you whining.

  19. Another evil jerk ^^^^^^
    How can you take any of her posts as whining????

  20. don’t get discouraged! keep up with the race reports….i find them helpful just for course info and “what to wear” advice! i kind of love that you’re at a place where most of us are…..doing races for fun and not to win!
    you’ve been so helpful to me and you don’t even know it…yours was the first running blog I turned to when I found out I was having twins and was researching jogging strollers and sports bras for nursing (ha!)
    hang in there!

  21. I am truly sorry that people have nothing better to do with their time than belittle others. It reminds me of a quote I heard a while ago:

    People will hate you,
    rate you,
    shake you,
    and break you.
    But how strong you stand
    is what makes you!

    Keep your chin up, and as fellow flower ambasssadors say, “Bloom On”! :)

  22. Awwww, that race report gave me tingles! Please, please, please continue to write those posts if you have those experiences! Eff the haters. This is your soapbox to shout upon.

    Saying you had a slow for you race or pace is totally understandable! I am nowhere NEAR as fast as you but I understand the difference between being upset that you didn’t live up to your goals or potential during a race and saying “everyone slower than me sucks” – which you didn’t!

  23. That’s so unfortunate…I’m sorry. Luckily my blog is still in a tiny happy bubble! No mean people allowed:)

  24. Okay so I’m a first time commenter on your blog I believe. But I just had to speak up. I really enjoy your blog because of your honesty. You write for you and you can tell. That’s just awesome. I understand where you are coming from with negative comments and how it can throw you for a loop. But I feel that for the most part, your readers understand what you are saying. We get you. Try Not to let that negative shit derail your blog and your writings too much. we love it!

  25. You are correct. You made the mistake -BIG MISTAKE- of reading comments on Facebook!
    Please stop doing that! Do not engage! The haters will compromise your authenticity. Keep it Real, Beals!

  26. I really miss your recaps and the emotions that go with them. When you’re blog is as widely read as yours there will undoubtedly be negative comments. It’s going to happen no matter what if you put your feelings out there. But I think one of the reasons your blog an your brand are so popular is because you are real. You aren’t some plastic ideal who only runs PRs without her hair getting messed up and who never gets discouraged. There are a wide range of emotions that come with this sport and for every person who judges you, there are 100 others who are inspired and intrigued. I personally would love to see more emotional recaps. I find blogging to be a great way to sort things out in my head after a race and I think you do too. Negative comments will come, and they are hurtful, but you KNOW they are completely irrelevant to you and your journey as a runner.

  27. You are an amazing inspiration and your blog gives advice and courage to people like me, someone always looking for new ideas, advice, and training inspiration! My dad and I met you at the Rock N Roll Denver expo, it was such a cool experience to talk with you after reading your words online.

  28. loved that article about chicago. it took a lot of boldness on your part to be so vulnerable, and i’m sorry someone couldn’t see that :(

    i do LOVE the photo of us from that day, though!! Hugs, friend! xoxo

  29. This is my first year trying to keep a journal and I am really enjoying it! I really enjoy reading your blog, you are very inspirational and I hope one day to be as successful as you in the running community :). I’m sorry to hear about all the negativity, It really does surprise me to hear that you get so many negative comments on your blog. I haven’t read a single post that made me feel anything but inspired by your hard work. I look forward to reading your blog post’s!

  30. Johanna Naama says:

    I love your blog. I hope you continue to ignore the mean people. You are brave to put yourself out there and I thank you for it.

  31. I haven’t read your blog in a very long time. Somehow in the transfer from Google Reader to Bloglovin your blog got dropped from my list. As I run on my treadmill, often meditating over the verse for the day from the Word, I glance at the 26.2 bible verses that I had printed out from this blog. It helps me get through the tough runs. Sadly, many of my fave athletes are now dropping their detailed race recaps. Honestly, I love reading them but you are not recapping those in such detail for me, the reader, you are writing them for yourself. At least I think that was the reason for it in the beginning….do you still write them for you? If it is cathartic to write the details and you feel refreshed from remembering the races (runs or other workouts) then don’t stop because some ignorant fool who runs 10 minute miles is jealous (hello, I’m jealous of your time!). Write, remember, and be refreshed for yourself, not necessarily us!

  32. I’m so sorry that someone made you feel this way. I love following your blog. It is a perfect blend of the ups and downs of running that we can all relate to at one point or another. I hope the negative nelly’s of the world only make you stronger. Hold onto your amazing-ness and talk about whatever you want. My advice, play some Taylor Swift ” Shake it off!” and dance around like crazy and let it go. That negativity is not worthy of your time!

  33. This is a big problem for me with work and I just have made it a policy to never read the comments. Ever. (OK, I lied, I totally read the ones on my blog specifically. But if you’re just going to be an asshole, I have no problem deleting that shit.) Yeah, feedback is great and I totally believe in sharing because honesty is good for society, but you don’t need feedback from people you don’t know or care about. That has no value

  34. Dorothy – from the outsider’s point of view, I can tell you this for sure. When others post insults about someone they don’t know, it is ENTIRELY about them, NOT about you. You may find this hard to believe because the commenter listed your pace, but it really is about her and her feelings of unhappiness and inadequacy. If you can, take out any sting you may feel if you had taken the comment personally. Maybe you can even feel a little sorry for this person who would attempt to bring down another who openly shared her life. Not preaching at you here, :) not at all. She sees you as better than herself, otherwise she would not have been insulting in that way. – Meanwhile, I admire your courage and hope that the trials you mentioned are completely over in your life. Hope this will be a much finer year for you.

  35. Sometimes you (people in general, especially those who put their opinions out publically like bloggers) have to examine how other people understand your tone and how you come across. Sure the comment was negative, but your response is as well.
    “DID YOU READ THE ARTICLE? If you did is that really what you took away from it? Did I ever at any point say that 7:56 was slow?”
    Yea, by the way, a reader could easily take away that you think 7:56 is slow. Maybe you should use comments like these to reexamine how others understand your tone.

  36. People who choose to look for the negative in life and in me, will always misunderstand tone and intent on the internet.

  37. I came upon your blog about 6 months ago and have been a religious follower. You are open, real and honest and there is so much we can learn from you. The running community is about support and strength in numbers. Race recaps are my fave part of running blogs and I can understand why you would not want to post many more. As runners, we are great at beating ourselves up after a race or even a training run didn’t go as planned/hoped…why invite strangers rude, negative comments into that. Kinda like kicking a dog when it’s already down. Keep on keepin on…you are one of the most honest and inspirational women out there!

  38. haters gonna hate, lady! i’m sorry that particular comment got to you — it can be hard to put yourself out there and then feedback that feels harsh. especially because, i often do think people forget that there are REAL people writing our blog posts. it always amazes me when people say stuff online that they would NEVER say in person. i appreciate the realness, lady!

  39. I think there’s always that risk, when you’re putting yourself out there, that not everyone is going to agree with or like what you say. Some people just have no filter. And hiding behind the internet gives people courage to say things they wouldn’t say to your face. There’s a woman who follows my blog who snips at me when I comment that a run was slow or not up to par for me. I always respond positively and politely by reminding her that we are all on our own journey. Don’t take it personally and don’t censor yourself because of mean people. Stay positive!

  40. I feel you. I’ve lost any “real” blog voice at this point, and the value of blogging has become more and more slim. A troll can find a good spin on anything you say. There is of course a difference between trolling, a negative comment grown from jealousy, and constructive criticism. The first two will make any human stop and question what is really worth discussing on the internet.

    And so then….any wise blogger begins to filter their blog….and then is accused of NOT BEING HONEST WITH HER READERS! how dare thee! ha. Catch 22. Stupid stuff.

    Anyway that’s my first blog comment in like a year so there’s that. Chin up!

  41. Very well said and so true.. We all strive to be great within our own realm. Only one person in the world can say they’re the fastest on a given day. That will most likely never us and I’m ok with that. You have to be happy fulfilling your own potential no matter how fast or slow that may be.

    Great post, I really enjoyed the read.

    Have a great day.

    -Dom

  42. I really appreciate you putting your feelings out there like this. I’m sorry that those words hurt you. Though there are some of us who DO appreciate you sharing your running experiences, there will always be some who aren’t as appreciative. Just know that that comes with the territory of being a blogger. I wish you the best and keep doing what you’re doing! It really helps tons of people out there! :)

  43. I agree, people are tired of hearing you whine. YOU are the mos annoying and woe is me blogger around.

  44. I love all your posts as well (although, obviously, I’m a bit behind). Keep them coming. Please try to disregard the negative people out there. It’s so easy for them to spew out when they are sitting behind a device. If they don’t like you or what you say, they don’t have to read your blog posts!

  45. Thanks Denise xoxo

I love a good comment!

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