Once upon a time I loved writing race recaps…..I loved talking about the highs, the lows, the points where I pushed through and the times I wanted to hang up my running shoes forever. This was when there were all of 10 people reading my blog, all of whom were my friends. Friends have a way of reading your words and knowing for the most part, exactly what you are saying. They get the tone of the post, because they know your tone in real life. They know your personal struggles and they celebrate your greatest achievements with you – they know all the S.H.I.T. that you leave off your blog, the words you don’t write.
As of late, I haven’t enjoyed writing recaps. I know what happened at a race – I know my goals – my intentions – I know whether I had fun or whether it was miserable and I was putting on a happy face for the pictures – I know whether my results surprised me or disappointed me.
When commenters leave negative feedback on race posts – it irks me a little.
These aren’t posts where there is an opinion about something that maybe they don’t agree with. It isn’t a post where I ask a question as most bloggers do for comment bait. It’s a post that is 125% about my feelings and how I say MY day happen, yet people put their judgments, opinions and their expectations of what I should or shouldn’t have done based on what they believe I was or wasn’t trying to do. I’m already exhausted as it is most days, so trying to keep up with what someone else thinks I should feel or run or be capable of – NO THANK YOU. I’ve come to realize that no matter what you say in life – people are going to read into things and SEE whatever they want to see.
I wrote a very personal post the other day for Women’s Running about my current fitness level.
I made the mistake of reading the comments left on their facebook page and one really stuck out…. http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2015/01/mile-posts/mile-posts-im-slower-dont-mind_34403
I really wished I hadn’t read this…7:56 avg and she says “I’m slow”…it’s like the skinny girl that says, ” I’m so fat.” Shut up already…
Wow. The comment didn’t sting as much as I thought to myself – DID YOU READ THE ARTICLE? If you did is that really what you took away from it? Did I ever at any point say that 7:56 was slow?
Oh and what about me saying that 2014 was a REALLY hard year for me. Did you think maybe, just maybe you could keep your comment to yourself even if you REALLY wished you hadn’t read it. I am a real person, you know….a person with feelings.
Or did you feel the need to shove me down because you are mad that my pace maybe is faster than yours? And what is it with pace anyways that makes people get all pissy? Why can’t we just agree that pace does not determine how much we love this sport or our dedication level?
I do a lot of sharing. On most days I overshare. Even though there is MORE of my life I don’t show you, than there is that I do….I still put more out on the internet than most people do…..with that comes feedback. Sometimes that feedback makes you think – oh good point, I should do that or change that. Then there is the feedback that makes you all-no-way-that-person-is-beyond-wrong at first but then a couple of days later you think, I think they may have been right, that was insensitive or stupid, or even just flat out wrong – I’ve felt like a jerk after some posts I wrote and have wanted to delete more than I can even count. Feedback helps you grow as a person. There however is a drastic difference between feedback and just leaving a negative comment for no reason other than you want to be a jerk that day.
This is why I’ve been sharing less and less my feelings and my thoughts on my races. When I write these posts they are really personal to me…..they are posts I read over and over again because they mean something. So I’ve been moving my race thoughts/feelings/emotions to my journal rather than putting them online. I like it that way. Recaps and reviews will still appear, but I’m not likely to write a post like this for awhile….if ever again…. http://www.mile-posts.com/b-and-a-trail-marathon/b-a-marathon-2012-race-recap.html
I’m a BIG believer that what you put out into this world comes back to you…..be a positive light to others…..