Many moons ago I would set up a training plan for myself and actually follow it. This hasn’t happened in awhile. I train but don’t train. I throw in a tempo here and there – whenever I feel like it. I race when it moves me, and run however far – fast – or slow – that I want to run – when I want to run.

Running Hood To Coast and spending 24+ hours in a van with 5 crazy fast and bada$$ girls {that I STILL am missing} made me re-think my training a little bit. Or re-think my lack thereof of actual training. I do like my – I’ll run whatever I feel like attitude I’ve had for the past couple of years – but I think I’m finally ready to make my training a tad more concrete – the first steps is bringing back tempo Tuesdays into my life.

Goal was to run an easy and relaxed tempo {easy and relaxed and tempo don’t really all go together but that was my goal for my first official tempo back}.  Two mile warm up – start at 7:15 and work down to 7 for 4 miles and then 2 mile easy cool down.

  • Mile 1: 8:00
  • Mile 2: 7:40
  • Mile 3: 6:49
  • Mile 4: 6:34
  • Mile 5: 6:33
  • Mile 6: 6:19
  • Mile 7: 7:44
  • Mile 8: 7:40

Total time: 57:24 – 8 miles – 7:09 average – tempo average 6:33

After this run I FINALLY admitted to myself, I’m afraid of failing.

If someone had told me that I had to run my tempo run in the 6:40 – 6:50 range, it would have stressed me out, and I’m guessing I wouldn’t have hit those paces. My mind would have taken over my body and told my body it couldn’t do it.

When I first started this blog in 2009 it encouraged me to run faster and train harder. Posting my splits helped me push myself on every run – somewhere along the way, posting my splits often stopped encouraging me, and defeated me before I even began. I started to compare myself to other women, I started to listen to nasty comments left on my blog, I started to believe that maybe my PR’s were flukes.

Every day I fight a mental battle. Those of you that fight the mental battle in areas of your life KNOW what I’m talking about. Those of you that don’t, well you won’t ever fully understand those of us who do.

It’s not a coincidence that on this run NO negative thoughts entered my head. Each and every time my mind wanted to go towards the negative I reminded myself that being negative accomplishes nothing and I thought of something positive to focus on. One positive thought, led to another and another.

Today is my daughters first day of second grade and my sons first day of kindergarten. I’ve decided there is no time like the present to start fresh emotionally, mentally and physically. This time instead of just telling myself this – I believe it FULLY in my heart and I’ve come up with a list of concrete actions I can take.

9 - 3- 2013

Some changes I’ve made are small, like deleting facebook from my phone, so I am not tempted to check it during the day when I am spending time with my children, other are much larger.

I BELIEVE in my heart that positive leads to positive and that negative leads to negative.

In the end the changes I am making might make me a faster runner, they also might not. I want to constantly keep my life in perspective, doing internal check-ins weekly. Running faster does not always make me happier, but spending quality time and making memories with my children does. Its not an out – it’s a hard fact.

Today I was able to run fast {for me} and spend quality time with my children – a win both ways. Positive leads to positive.

9 - 3 - 13

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend!!

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  1. Nice run, Dorothy! Nothing like the feeling of completing a strong tempo, hey! Also – such a sweet picture of Chloe and Miles :)

  2. A win in both ways indeed – keep up the great work and don’t listen to the negative comments on your blog (who on earth has negative things to say about your blog? Crazy people!). You inspire me every day! Thank you!

  3. LOVE that pic of you and your little in this post. :)
    and thank you for the motivation. i too, am afraid of failing and it has prevented me from running the way i would like to. i am still trying to “let go” and take chances and let my body tell my mind what it wants to do, but i can’t seem to get that confidence back. i suppose it’s a process and i need to perservere to become the runner i want to be. i need to find my mojo back! :)

  4. Oh the non-training training, I know it well. Are you getting back on a schedule now?

    Don’t worry about what people say on the internet. It never leads anywhere good.

  5. After HTC I am feeling renewed, refreshed and ready to establish some new goals as well. I have been wishing I had some time to talk to you, I am needing to work through some of my internal struggle and I thought of you, and know you could help, but we’re so far away! Despite some of that struggle I feel so great about the future and ready to conquer some of my doubt. Are you running Boston this year?

  6. Great job! I’ve realized I’m afraid to fail when it comes to long runs. I psych myself out so much before I even hit the pavement it’s almost all I can think about the whole time. Will I make it? Will I keep a decent pace?
    This is a great reminder of the power of positive thinking! The energy we put out into the world will (hopefully) come back to us the same way :)

  7. Nasty comments…seriously?!? What ever happened to if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all? If someone does not like a blog then just don’t read it! You don’t need to make them feel bad.
    By the way…AWESOME run!!!! That is an amazing tempo!!!…and the picture of your sweet kiddos needs to be blown up and framed!

  8. I’m running my 2nd marathon in 5.5 weeks (Baltimore!), and I fluctuate between terror and apathy. I don’t know what I’m afraid of :) I’m afraid of feeling awful. And maybe failing. I feel as if I’ve totally undertrained. I deferred from last year, but wasn’t planning on running. Then I found out a woman from my running club is registered, so we are running together. Her marathon times are quite a bit slower than mine was, so I figure my undertraining will balance out. We’ll see :)

    Thanks for your honesty!

  9. You are crazy fast lady! Thanks for being honest (as always) about your fear of failing. It’s so hard not to put pressure on ourselves. I love that last picture! so sweet.

  10. Great run!! I try to do 1 tempo a week and 1 speed workout the rest I just go with what I feel but sometimes I have no plan – I love that you refocus and I think I need to do the same as well! Thanks for the reminder!

  11. Nice work- and love your thoughts here. I am the same way about this very issue. If i think about how speedy the pace is ahead of time, it freaks me out. It’s hard though because you have to think about it to know what the goals are in the long run. It’s refreshing how you did your run today and I think it would serve me well do do that every once in awhile. Go out and just tempo based on how you feel. Sometimes it might end up slower than expected, sometimes faster, and that’s all good. Brings back the joy to running. Also- I’ve thought about deleting FB from phone for the reasons you have, haven’t done it yet though! What about twitter…. don’t think I can pull the trigger on that one!

  12. Hey Lindsey!! So step one was facebook – still debating twitter – I did move it to the second screen on my phone so I don’t see the icon and check it every time I check my email. I got rid of all push notifications for twitter, instagram and facebook – so again I’m not tempted to check them every 5 minutes. I only just started this and I already feel like I have more time in my day! My daughter and son are old enough now that it bothers them when I am supposed to be doing stuff with them and I am checking my phone. I’ve told them that if I do start checking my phone too much they can say – mommy don’t forget – you don’t want to be on your phone too much :) which is also a nice reminder. Some people have NO issues with little things like this but I think for me {and lots of other people I know} social media can feel like an addiction. I’ve also decided to stop going to a couple of websites that I use to check daily and again – it’s amazing how much more time I feel like I have. I’m going to carry a book in my purse from on for those moments when I have 5 minutes to do nothing – say waiting in line or something – and I’ll read rather than check stuff! I’m letting go of the feeling that I’m going to somehow miss something by not checking stuff every 20 minutes!

    Making sure to keep the joy in running is what it’s all about :) 😉 Have a wonderful day!

  13. You are sweet! So hard not to put pressure on ourselves – I’m realizing more and more that my daughter watches the pressure I put on myself and I don’t want her to do the same thing when she grows up. Live and learn :) Oh and thank you – I just love love love that picture – being a mommy is the best – right?!?! Have a great day!

  14. You will do great! Don’t sell yourself short :) Have a good day B!

  15. That’s what my mother taught me but I guess not everyone learned that simple lesson :)

    I need to print out pictures – I keep telling myself I will and then never do! I’m adding it to my to-do list now – thanks for the reminder! Hope you have a nice day :)

  16. Thank you Elly!!! xoxo

  17. I’m glad I can help you in some small way :) makes it all worth it! Have a good week xo

  18. I’m reading Mind Gym right now and I LOVE it. It’s like the guy said everything I think but don’t know how to put into words. It’s helping me get rid of the negative and know that even thinking negative and dwelling on it, or dwelling on not being able to do something – sets me up for failure. I do agree it’s a process and seriously my mojo goes missing once a week!!! xoxo

  19. I love that you deleted your FB app! I got rid of FB all together about 2 years ago. Yeah, I feel disconnected sometimes, but you know what? We survived without it before! I do have Instagram so I can share photos that way. On the running- I feel ya. I doubt myself all the time and am afraid to make a goal for fear of failure.

  20. Awesome tempo run! I really needed to read this right now. I haven’t been able to run/train due to turf toe and I’ve been very negative. I need to take this time to be positive about other things and just know that running will be a regular part of my life again :)

  21. Krystin C. says:

    Love this post Dorothy! I have never ever ran a tempo run, thinking I might give it a try soon! Still working on my negative split runs I just can’t seem to conquer.. yet! I put my phone away in the evenings until my daughter goes to bed.. I never ever want to miss something because of my phone. At her soccer practice yesterday I looked around and 6 out of the 9 parents “watching” practice were on their phones. Its sad to me… It sounds like you have inspired others to take a break from technology. As they say our kids need and want us to play with them, lets get out there and do it! :)

  22. Beautiful post! Beautiful you! I know this battle Ioh so well and feel like I’m stuck smack in the middle of this battle with myself. Im working on idenitifing my own fears right now. I know its what is holding me back. Thank you for your words. They spoke straight to my heart.

  23. Thank you for this post! In my book you are crazy fast, even in your definition of slower runs! I appreciate this post because it reminds us all to be the best we can be, to succeed in our goals no matter if they are time, distance or just completion. I sometimes get overwhelmed seeing all these crazy fast moms and runners posting pictures of their watches, feeling that I am not adequate or that I need to be faster. But one day (it took two years after a massive blood clot in my left let) I realized the joy is in running each step no matter how far or fast. The joy is running for your own goals, not trying to be someone else! Thank you! I’m not perfect, I still struggle, pregnant with number 2 I have moments that I think I will try to get faster if all goes well this go around, but then remind myself, it is okay if I don’t! Never lose your joy by trying to be something you are not! Thank you thank you thank you!

  24. The comparing and negativity is really soul-sucking – I am a positive person in general and do feel as though I tend to get dragged down with negativity sometimes. So lately I’ve been really focusing on the positives as much as possible and in turn, I feel stronger and healthier. It is good to take a fresh look at all you are doing in terms of social media and spending your time. Right now I have no desire to delete things or change what I’m doing, but I will say that I read books more before all my blogging & integrating social media into my blogging. But the upside is that I’m fueled by motivation and energy from others through the FB/instagram/twitter interactions and that has kept me fueled in a different way. I think at different times we need different things, so reevaluating is good.

  25. I’ve been having the same feeling for a while now. About 3 weeks ago before we headed on a family vacation to Bainbridge Island (just 10 mile about from Seattle) I decided to take FB of my phone. Not because of jealousy or that but because I checked it allthefreakingtime. Just a bad habit, like biting your fingernails or chewing on the inside of your mouth. After my pr (but semi fail) in Missoula I decided I was ready for a revamping of many habits, and FB symbolized that for me. Perhaps if I ever update my blog I can articulate it all. Needless to say I had my fastest track workout ever. I was alone, in the early morning and afraid to fail. I told myself, “we are on a new program” and I still can’t believe the numbers. My youngest starts kinder tomorrow. Maybe there’s something to all this madness?

  26. Hi Dorothy – I discovered your blog just about 2 weeks ago and I wanted to let you know how you’ve changed my life and inspiration in such a wonderful way. I had been debating buying a triple jogging stroller for the past 8 months, since my youngest was born, and 1 month ago finally decided it was a crazy idea. I had read so many reviews about people selling theirs b/c it was just too heavy or too difficult to run with.

    Then I found your blog and was inspired to no end. I want to let you know that I think you are absolutely incredible. I have been pouring over your bio and posts and your story is amazing. I bought a triple jogger on craigslist (baby jogger q-series) and have run with it at least 10 times in the past 2 weeks. We use it nearly daily, my kids love it (ages 4, 2.5 and 8 months) and today I even completed 5×800 m repeats with the triple! So much fun with my older girls cheering me on the entire way! I also just started my own running blog to record my adventures – mostly just for myself. It feels so good. Thanks for motivating me to begin running and writing more.. both of which I had missed for too long.

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