I really really don’t like dwelling on runs that didn’t go my way. I put them as far out of my head as I can, as fast as I can. Runners have to have a short memory when it comes to some things and a long memory when it comes to others.

I don’t like talking about the crappy runs, because hello it’s no fun to say GUESS WHAT I HAD A SH$T-TASTIC RUN today.

But this is a running blog and so I’ll chat about it if for no other reason to be accountable to NOT giving up again.

Last week I headed out for my speed workout of 5 x 2 minutes on 1 minute off. I did a warm up of 6 or so miles and a cool down of around 1. The total for the day was 9 and even though I didn’t feel great I decided on my run that my new mantra was going to be #giveuporshutup

So I shutup – did the workout and was pleased.

Monday was rough emotionally, for reasons that don’t matter to anyone but me. I didn’t think I was going to get to run because Colton had his little holiday concert at school {it was adorable but over quicker than expected}. I managed to drag my feeling-sorry-for-myself-butt out the door and run 6 miles.

That’s all I had.

 

I again didn’t think I was going to be able to run Tuesday morning for “kid” reasons but as it turned out I was able to.

I decided I wanted to do the same workout I ran last week but I wanted to push it more on the warm-up part.

I ran a little over 6 miles for the warm up – 8:21, 8:24, 8:22, 7:54, 7:40, 7:48

My average pace for the 6 mile warm up last week was 8:45 so I was pleased with 8:05 average for 6.1 miles.

I stopped my watch and saved it, then brought up the interval workout {because I haven’t figured out a way, if there is even a way, to get split paces when doing the warmup in the interval mode}. Once I made it past a blind intersection I had to cross, I started the interval part of the run on my Garmin.

I mentioned in my post last week that I don’t know what pace I’m running during these intervals – I just run on feel and give it what I have – making sure that when I finish I feel like I could have run one more repeat.

5 repeats is not a lot when you are only running fast for 2 minutes. Yes it’s work, but it’s not like 5 x 1 mile repeats, so the fact that I already felt miserable on the first repeat didn’t bode well.

Instead of focusing on the good, I focused on every little thing that was annoying me, that was going wrong, or that I was upset about.

My thighs hurt because I ran out of body glide and didn’t lube up before the run, which then launched my brain into an internal rant about weight gain. Nevermind the fact that even at my smallest which was 20 pounds less than I am now {yes I was too small}, I still chafed – that’s just how my body is.

Then I felt hot, really hot, hot even though it was windy and I had a bit of a chill. I could go on and on with complaints.

By the 4th repeat I told myself I was running slow and that I had ruined the speed part of the workout by warming up too fast.

Then repeat 5 came and I told myself it’s only 2 minutes Dorothy – let’s get this over with.

I ran 1 minute and then gave up.

I had 1 minute left of the workout and I just gave up.

I initially told myself I didn’t know why I quit or why I couldn’t have just slowed down but still finished.

I analyzed this nonsense while I ran the cool down mileage and decided even though I wanted to blame all the other stuff that I was mad about, what it boiled down to was my internal ego.

Somewhere deep inside I didn’t want to have a slower 5th repeat. Nevermind the fact that NO ONE but me had to know that I had a slower 5th repeat – I didn’t want to know I did – so I gave up.

If I could have pulled anything positive from my mind during this run I would have thought of the #giveuporshutp mantra and not given up – I would have realized how absurd it was to stop with one lousy minute left.

I finished out the run with a total of 10 miles and went inside to plug-in my Garmin to analyze the data.

Repeat 1: 6:09/8:52

Repeat 2: 6:01/8:57

Repeat 3: 6:10/9:09

Repeat 4: 6:03/8:51

Repeat 5: 6:31 for the 1 minute average

and that’s when I felt even worse……my repeats for last week were 6:33, 6:34, 6:20, 6:16, and 6:15

I’m positive I gave up because I felt like I wasn’t running fast {for me} when I was running faster than last week. I’m stronger in the 2nd minute of a 2 minute repeat and likely would have matched my exact split average from last week.

Your mind can defeat you.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you want to run well at the marathon distance you have to win the battle over your mind. You have to not only believe it’s possible to run the pace you want to run, you have to KNOW in your heart and convince your mind that it’s not a matter of can you or will you – it’s that on that day you are going to run that time no if and’s or butt’s about it.

If you let your mind win the battle the body will always give up.”

In the scheme of things it was 1 minute, but it’s less about the 1 minute I gave up on and more about the fact that I gave up because I let my ego get in the way. It wasn’t that I couldn’t run fast for one more minute it’s because I felt like I couldn’t run as fast as my mind wanted to run for one more minute.

I ran 26.2 miles in China after sitting on a bus for 3 hours. I climbed 5,164 steps and didn’t once consider giving up, even though besides childbirth it was the most painful experience of my life. On that day I had no ego, I only had love in me. Any time my mind went to a dark place I focused on how much I loved running and asked myself if I had more to give and the answer was always a simple yes.

I won’t let myself quit because of pace again. End of story.

China Wall Hi Res

%d bloggers like this: