I ran today. It didn’t go as planned. I hate plans for this reason, because often {or more than often} things don’t go as planned.

Thankfully my coach is also my best friend and she helps keep me on a non-plan plan. It’s one of the many reasons I decided to hire her as my coach. She gets me as a runner and as a person. I don’t think there has been a week, that she has been my coach, that something either didn’t go as planned or I changed the plan. She still loves me. A good coach in my opinion is one who helps you grow but one who also knows that there is more to life than running and that the more to life part can and does affect the running part.

I’m on Strava if you are a numbers person.

I’m feeling blue today. For some reasons that I can put my finger on and others that I just don’t know. The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but for me they have always been anxiety inducing. I don’t remember one single Christmas as a child that I didn’t cry. Sometimes I had a reason to and other times I was just crying – not for the sake of crying but because I felt blue.

I don’t think I fully understood this about myself until just the other day – crying and being REALLY sad {not depressed – just really sad – because there IS a difference} but not being able to really articulate what it was that has me blue. It took Chloe breaking down sobbing to me, for me to understand me. I asked her what was wrong – she said she didn’t know. I went through the list of things I thought it could be but thought maybe she just didn’t want to tell me them. I reminded her that while I am her mom first, I’m also her friend, and she COULD tell me without any mom judgement on my part. And that’s when it happened – she told me she was really sad but didn’t know why and didn’t know why she was crying but just that she felt like crying. We just hugged. I feel you girl is what I thought – I FEEL you. In my thinking – over thinking state – I wondered can this type of thing be passed down? Is feeling something too deeply a genetic thing? Does that even make sense?

I was chatting to my mom on the phone today about an unfortunate situation that also has me feeling very blue. She sometimes has great advice and other times advice that really annoys me {because that’s what moms do to daughters right?! Annoy them?}….today her advice was really good. She gave me permission to give myself permission to not let people back in to my life that continually – year after year hurt me. Whether that hurt is real or perceived or whatnot – whatever it is – if it’s bringing me down – I don’t have to keep letting it {or them} in my life.

So the run….

I suspect the run didn’t go as planned because I was wearing too much – which is typical of me.

I then sweat too much and felt dehydrated.

I was upset and on the verge of tears the entire run.

I was running way faster than I was supposed to be running. In my defense I felt like a slug – my legs felt really heavy – I really had no clue I was running faster than I had any business running.

But looking on the bright side….

I’ve made it a habit that whenever I am truly blue to always look for the silver lining or to find the bright side of any day/situation.

I ran and I never regret a run. #brightside

I had a GREAT phone interview for something very-exciting-to-me that’s happening in 2018. I’m thankful for really cool people who think of me {and recommend me!! <3} when really cool opportunities pop up. #thankful

I know that this too shall pass – as all things do. #bluesbegone

I blogged again. YAY for writing. It helps me move forward.  #makingtime

Leaving you with a photo from Kona cause that’s where I am wishing I was right now. Last night on Wheel Of Fortune {my kids love watching it} the theme was Hawaii {it was probably a re-run} and one of the contestants won a trip to stay at the Sheraton Kona – where I stayed in October…..which then made me wish I was back in Kona even more. I need to move to the beach.

Tomorrow is a new day! 

Kona with Gatorade Endurance

Comments

  1. Mary Kendall says:

    Big hug. Maybe it’s the Seasonal Affective Disorder kicking in or the pressure of feeling like we need to please everyone at the holidays. Whatever it is, I feel you. At least you ran today. I lost my running mojo awhile ago. I keep reading your blog and running magazines hoping it will come back. At church on Sunday a new mantra was suggested: “Keep looking forward”. I’m working on that.

  2. I feel you on that, I sometimes can’t quite put my finger on why I’m sad or anxious and it’s 100 mini insignificant things that get me down. Glad you still went for your run, even if it didn’t go to plan, and can’t wait to see all the awesome things you get up to in 2018! xx

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I love a good comment!

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