I’m having a hard time putting in to words how far off I thought this day was and yet here it is. Chloe entered in to her last year of elementary school, Miles is in 3rd, and Colton full-day kindergarten. Today I had no little people in my house and it was just about the strangest thing ever.

Don’t mind me while I cry my eyes out ? #firstdayofschool #myloves #chloeraine #mileslincoln #coltonriver

A photo posted by Dorothy Beal ☆I RUN THIS BODY™ (@mileposts) on

 

This summer I traveled a fair amount. Three trips away from my kids meant that being solo hasn’t felt all that strange. In fact, it’s been kind of nice discovering who I am without them and meeting people who don’t know me as Chloe, Miles and Colton’s mom. I have been Dorothy Beal. The Dorothy that is different because she is mom, but the Dorothy that was able to go grab a tea without having three kids beg me for treats at Starbucks. The Dorothy who could go for a run and then take a nap after. Ultimately, though I love traveling and being solo, I love being home and with my kids more. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to pull my hair out on a regular basis but I’m learning – that’s ok. It’s not a reason to complain, worry or stress – it is just is the nature of life as a parent. I know that the next ten years will go by just as quickly as the first ten {this little peanut turns 10 next week!}

12 Miles, The First Day Of School and Embracing Fear @mileposts

But today, today wasn’t a day where I was traveling and alone in a hotel room. It was a day where I was in my house and it was SILENT. Not the type of silent that comes with plopping little people in front of the TV, handing them bacon popcorn and turning a movie on – it was the type of silent that you could hear a pin drop.

I went for a run and ran 12.12 miles simply because I could {yes the number was on purpose – I like numbers and repeating patterns}.

After the run I made a delicious raspberry smoothie and then sat in the silence.

I wasn’t present in the moment long before my mile-long to do list was running through my head.

When you work from home, you are never off. People waiting for emails or responses see that you ran double-digit miles {because you allowed them to see it on your very public social media} and think oh well if you have the time for that, then you clearly have the time to do what they need/want you to do….today I didn’t have the time…today I needed to run.

Running is important to me, so important that sometimes I have to skip things {like first day of school celebration mimosas with my friends}. I like to make sure to keep my sanity on a level that should I slowly slip over the edge to the – I’m legit about to lose my mind – I’m actually not kidding – stage…..I can pull myself back up. That’s what running does for me, specifically double-digit runs. It keeps me going.

The older I get the more I realize I can’t escape the old me. I am her, she is me. I will on many levels always be the girl who thinks – SH*T I’m way out of my league here – I hope they don’t figure out that I’m not sure I can do this……

Then I remind myself “I Run This Body” – I continuously firmly tell myself that I can’t let fear hold me back in life. Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear of falling, literally and figuratively.

12 Miles, The First Day Of School and Embracing Fear @mileposts

So today, on this first day of school, I am embracing what thousands of teachers want for their students – the gift of flight…..

What if I fall? oh but my darling what if you fly?

Shop this print on Etsy HERE

If you are in to podcast’s I chatted with Lindsey Hein on her I’ll Have Another Podcast about blogging, Women’s Running Magazine, starting a business, life with kids and why I’m so passionate about #IHaveARunnersBody. Should you want to listen to it here’s the link :)

 

Comments

  1. Thank you so much for sharing the podcast Dorothy! And of course thank you for sharing your story with my listeners. Cheers to this next phase in life for you!

  2. Best of lucks for your kids and you as you embark on this next chapter in parenthood…!

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  4. jaggedfel Richard says:

    I fight depression often. My running progress, my personal life. Your comments on fighting fear are inspiring. I can’t stop fighting when something gets in my way. I really enjoyed this blog.

  5. It is so nice to see a mother who does all that she does and still have time for both her kids and her favorite hobby!

  6. Mariana says:

    I think it’s amazing that you’ve managed to stay fit while running around your kids. I think when my first one was born was when I found found it the hardest to stay fit, simply because it was so exhausting looking after her and I hated paying for gym memberships that I wasn’t using. I do however highly recommend http://www.payasugym.com/ it saved me from getting unhealthy and fat simply because it allowed me to gym wherever I wanted and whenever I wanted, they only work in the U.K. I’m sure moms in other parts of the world can find something similar. I think that a mom needs A LOT of flexibility when it comes to working out, but I think you’ve managed to find this. Great job!!

  7. It’s always fun to embark on new journeys! On your case, it’s extra fun because you’re doing it for your child! Wishing you all the best and keep on inspiring others!

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