I’m trying to think positive thoughts, I’m trying to live in the moment.  I’m really really trying, but I’m OFF.  I didn’t run this morning because of a mix up between my schedule and my husbands — it’s okay — I feel a little soreness in my thighs anyways.  Foam rolling would probably do me better today than a run. 

Yesterday I got up early and ran 3 before meeting up with my local running club.  This was not an easy 3 despite having a sub 10 minute mile for the 3rd mile.  I did this because two weeks ago it wasn’t easy running 3 alone home – I wanted to only have to run 2 at the tail end of my run.  I had planned on running an easy 5 and then 2 home, but couldn’t catch my breathe after climbing what I consider to be a monster hill in my neighborhood.  The hill broke me.  At the top I asked Miss Becca if she minded if I joined her for her 3 and if we could please walk for a little.  Overall I ran/walked 7.25 miles.  I know this is good, but mentally it just wasn’t the 10 I really, really wanted.

I’m a in weird spot these days.  I still want to try and run ten each weekend.  My friends who are running this far are not pregnant and are light years faster than me now.  This means I have to run alone for the first and last part of each of my long runs on the weekends, this is not fun.[refer to posting on my lack of mental muscle these days]. 

I’m also in a weird place because I’m not used to being last.  Don’t get me wrong, I have been last more times than I can count in my life – remember I started out running a 11 minute per mile pace.  It’s just that in the past couple of years I’ve progressed and can literally run with just about anyone I know.  If they are a tad faster, I push it, if they are slower, I use it for an easy run, if they are the same, well then that’s just perfect.  It’s hard going from being in the best shape of your life to being 30lbs heavier with a little human in you. 

I love him.  I can’t wait to meet him.  Will he have blond hair like Miles?  Brown hair like Chloe?  Brown eyes like me?  Blue like Miles?  Green like Chloe and Eric?  Will he be mild like Miles or crazy like Chloe?  I want him to stay in there as long as he needs to –  I know the longer he cooks in there the better – I’m slowly loosing my mind the longer he’s in there.

Today I feel OFF. 

Seriously how do women who have more than 3 kids do this?  I used to say if I won the lottery I would have tons and tons of kids.  On the way to MR PICS house the other night for Bible Study, I told myself that if I won the lottery I would have exactly….drum roll….three kids.  Is it just me?  Why does my body and mind not make me feel as cute as everyone claims I am. 

I have a theory for this too, by the way.  Everyone knows how uncomfortable you look, so rather than saying – WOW you look like a beached whale, I bet it must be hard to have a human in you! – they say – WOW you look amazing, you are so small and cute – HA.  They lie.

84 more days till my guess date :)

Comments

  1. The Hungry Mom says:

    dude 10 miles is REALLY far for someone approaching the 30 week mark!! you expect a lot of yourself and thats why you have always done so amazing. But give yourself a break. I only ran 7 saturday and I had no excuse not to go further. But I was proud of my 7, so you should be too!! I'm amazed by 7 miles at almost 30 weeks!

  2. I totally understand feeling out of the game and just wanting back in! the prego times 3 thing, is rough!! Three was my max. Mentally and physically could not do a single child more. I credit a lot of that to the EXTREME personalities of my kiddos, but I can't lie—its also that I wanted my body back. Now that we are DONE, it feels so good!! You are almost there and doing amazing from outsiders perspective!!! :)

  3. Rebecca Samson says:

    Everyone has off days. That's what makes the on days so amazing. You are doing amazing with running throughout this pregnancy. No way I could wrap my head around more then 4 while pregnant and that's with walking breaks. That was a killer hill though!!

  4. Jessica says:

    i am so proud of you and so inspired by you! and honestly, you do look really cute pregnant and i don't think people are lying to you at all when they tell you that but i know what you mean about feeling that way :o) i TOTALLY understand how you are feeling (i am feeling it all too…it's like you plucked these emotions right from me as i was reading them) and i am amazed at how you are keeping up with your running and that you are running sub 10 minute pace so much of the time. WOW. i would love love love to run with you while we're both pregnant – before you are not pregnant anymore and are too speedy for me!! my belly is slowing me down to about a 10-10:30 pace and i don't mind a walk break and it would be fun. once school starts we can meet up and do the WOD together and take turns pushing Miles or put Miles and Will in my double if Will is not in school. ok i am writing too much here will email you!! xoxoxo!!

  5. Momma Twitch says:

    I feel ya and I'm only 16 weeks along. 7+ miles is a heck of a lot better than no miles. It's so hard not to push yourself running while pregnant though. Good luck and just keep moving!

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