I often come across as someone who is very confident. I am not.

I have struggles just like every one else.

My mind is not made of steel. The weaker I feel in life the more I pour myself into running. It is not to run away but to rather run towards something.

I’ve been having a pity party for myself all weekend. Thing haven’t been going the way I’d like them too and I’ve been rather confused on many different levels. Cryptic I know. The point is this. You only get a glimpse of the lives of many people [bloggers, friends, family] – you don’t know all that goes on in their lives. You can choose to judge or you can give people the benefit of the doubt.

The judging hurts most not from people you don’t know but from people you do know. That doesn’t mean you can’t CHOOSE to forgive them just the same.

Today I was emailing back and forth with one of my favorite bloggers/tweeters and she reminded me that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

It’s easy to say it – but another thing to live it when your heart feels a little broken or wounded.

I’m done with my pity party. I am done feeling sorry for myself. I am done feeling as if I need to put together a broken heart.

I am choosing to learn from the situation and know that everything happens for a reason. There is a silver lining even if I can’t see it right now.

I want to CHOOSE today to remember that LIFE is too short to spend it unhappy.

Even writing this post makes me realize how silly a pity party is. I am sad. snappy. moody. What did my little people do to deserve a mom who feels this way or acts this way towards them? In reality it sort of feels a bit selfish of me to be so self involved in worrying about how I feel.

In the spirit of choosing to MOVE on and be HAPPY here are some thing making me happy!

This little guy started really trying to talk last week. It’s adorable and I love his attempts at so many different words.

This little guy turned four and had a wonderful birthday party at Chuck E Cheese surrounded by his friends.

This little girl had her end of year concert. End of year means that Kindergarten is almost over and I am only months away from having a first grader.

this picture is hilarious to me - deer in headlights comes to mind....

I registered for another marathon. Because that makes total sense to me [insert smiley face]

I had a good solo 12 miler Sunday – two weeks post Boston with an 8:08 average. The speed is slowly returning back to my legs.

I had a nice, cool, quick – solo run this morning. A rare treat for a weekday run.

  • Mile 1: 7:50
  • Mile 2: 7:26
  • Mile 3: 7:29
  • Mile 4: 7:06
  • Mile 5: 7:06

37:07 – 7:24 avg. Running fast makes me feel good inside. Something about pushing yourself and feeling breathless that makes you forget about everything else for a brief moment in time.

What do you think of pity parties? Ridiculous or totally needed?

Love the Kinvara? Saucony is on The Clymb today – Kinvara’s are $45 if you want to stock up!! Click HERE for an invite link.


  1. I allow myself to have a pity party ONLY if I can pick myself up afterwards. I think it’s normal in life. You just have to push through it just like you do a bad run.

  2. I have a quote that I love which is you can’t complain about something you aren’t willing to do something about… that usually gets me moving because most of th etime there is something I can do…now not always and so yes I had a pity party all month about my health. this week though I’m taking back control

  3. I try not to have regular pity parties but hey, they happen. You’re entitled to your feelings and sometimes it’s hard to control how you feel or how to approach a certain enotional situation rationally. I always try to tell myself that you never know what someone else is going through. You just have to do YOUR best to treat others the best you know how.

  4. Totally necessary! However, the last two times I’ve gotten devastating (to me) news my pity parties have only lasted one day. They were like the shortest grieving period ever. I’m sure I could have chosen to dwell and let it defeat me, but it would be counter-productive. Instead I’ve chosen to scrape myself off the floor, see the good in each situation, and move on. Things haven’t worked out as I wanted them to yet I feel like I’m actually better off because of it. Funny how things work out sometimes…

  5. I love this post because it is so honest. I absolutely think it is okay to have a pity party sometimes (I might be biased though because I do it too!). Especially if you can eventually take a step back and put it in perspective like it seems like you have already. This may not help because I know when your heart hurts, it hurts…regardless, but if you are still feeling down…take a look at the posts you wrote a couple of weeks ago to remind you of all the amazing things that have happened for you lately :)

  6. I hope everything is ok – I know you are stronger than you think and stronger than so many people and you can make it through whatever. But we are always here for you when you need us =)

    I definitely feel like there are times I just need a good mopey, cry day, and it completely helps me get over stuff. I am all for a pity party– when I try to ignore what is going on, it just bottles up and makes me eventually feel even worse.


  7. I find myself in pity parties when I get obsessed with something I did wrong, said wrong or pretty much felt like I plain FAILED, someone or something. However, depending on the degree of my supposed “failure” I begin to reach out for God, for His mercy to give me His Grace to get through it and He always reveals to me a new perspective and shows me He loves me and He is with me not based on what I have done but what His Son has done. God loves us so much He sent His Son to die and rise again so that we might be made the righteousness of Him through Christ (ref:John 3:16,2 Corinthians 5:17-21)
    Dorothy you are an inspiration and I love the fact you are so open because it makes me as well as others know that we are not the only one that fight negative thoughts. I look at David in the Bible and thats the way he was, he wasn’t perfect all the time but he loved God and knew he was called according to His purpose and was a living example of a man after Gods heart. It seems like every time I read your posts I get so inspired I write a novel for a comment, LOL.
    Dorothy you’re AWESOME!!! I’m glad we are sisters in Christ :)
    p.s.I love running fast too, running slow seems more painful.

  8. I’ve been having lots of pity parties lately…but I always try and find something positive out of WHY I am feeling that way…you are right…life is WAY TOO SHORT to live it unhappy…those pics just proved your point! what a beautiful family…and there is nothing to pity over those times my friend…some speedy miles!

  9. I’m not a fan of the pity party because it actually makes me feel worse. I’ve been called “eternally optimistic” and that was a complement. You’re right, though, the blogging community doesn’t know about my fears for my children or that my house isn’t as clean as I’d like or anything about the huge fight my husband and I got into a couple weeks ago, or that I’m switching to a new salon – how difficult that decision was and how scared I am to start over. But I figure we all have those things going on in our lives. Running is the cohesion to all the chaos surrounding me. It’s a huge part of why I’m always happy despite everything else. As I’ve gotten to know some blogging friends it’s evident how enormous the gap is in our really knowing each other, but one thing I do believe in my 41 years. We all have baggage, we all have things happen we have no control over, shitty things happen to good people, no one is perfect. It’s more about how we handle our lives that counts. Remembering how many great things are a part of us and projecting that

  10. I like to see pity parties as validation parties. We need to live with our feelings for a bit and embrace them and ourselves. And then move on. We need to take time to live with our feelings, chew on them, mull over them, and do whatever it takes to get in touch with them. Acknowledge them as real as opposed to pushing them away or burying them. But not for too long. Just long enough to feel. And then wipe them away after working through them for a little bit. This makes us stronger and we usually leave our “pity parties” with a new strength and perspective. :)

  11. I hear ya. I was in a pity party because I’ve had the WORST bout with allergies. Like falling asleep at 6:30pm more than once because I was so exhausted from sneezing, coughing etc. UGH! Turning a corner today. Hopefully for good!

  12. ahhh Dorothy, I’m sorry to hear you have been troubled. I must admit that I have sometimes well… I struggle sometimes daily to not have a pity party… for no other reason than I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I sometimes get SUCKED into it, and I know after years now, that it can be hard hard hard to get out.. so I really try to not allow the cycle of depression to kick in. So this is probably different from a pity party, oh gosh and a pity party is certainly allowed- natural emotions are beautiful and truly your emotions. I hope you’re feeling hopeful…. that for me is my big thing.. if I have hope, I can be happy….. if I feel like I am losing hope in things, people, circumstances…. then I get very disappointed and depressed…. and unfortunately then I stop running as much… cycle begins… xoxoxo

  13. I think everyone has been there…. more than once. Obviously, turning to God, your family and close friends is the right thing to do. I also recommend to get back out there. Race again. After a race that doesn’t go quite as planned I don’t get out of my running -slump until I’ve raced again. This fall I ran a bad HM and on the drive home was planning my next HM- for the very following Saturday. The bad race totally left me questioning my ability and why I ever thought I was a good runner. For one week I was down in the dumps but once I redeemed myself 7 days later I felt great and I loved running again.

    Good to hear you have registered for another marathon. In the meantime, maybe you can run some fun local spring/ summer races. :-)

  14. Pity parties are totally necessary, without them, how could we ever be reminded of all that is FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in our lives? 😉 I love how real and open you are to your audience, your honesty is so appreciated by all of your followers…When I am having my lowest of days, I am often reminded of a quote from my uncle, who is a priest which he said at a family member’s funeral mass. This quote has brought me up from some of my darkest places: ‘If we take our grief and replace it with faith, we no longer see through our own eyes, but the eyes of God’ …Hugs to you!!!

  15. I’ve just had a month long pity party, and every single day of it irritated the crap out of me. I get it. 100%. But sometimes you have to allow yourself to have a weak spot in your armor. No one is without them.

    You are human. As am I. And that is the most difficult thing in the world for me to accept.

    hang in there. also, your kids are uber cute. and i don’t have kids, so i’m not one of those “all kids are cute” people. LOL

  16. Sometimes you need to have a pity party because I think it’s at that moment when you remember to appreciate everything in your life. I wholeheartedly agree, everything happens for a reason… I also think that life is like a rollercoaster, you’ll have your ups and downs but in the end its a wild ride that you can’t help smiling about (even if you are facing your fears)! Just remember to smile, focus on your passions and everything else will fall into place.

  17. The kiddos are so cute! Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling down in the dumps. Everyone has bad days…don’t beat yourself up over it. The kids will forget (at least, that’s what I tell myself). :)

  18. I know this might sound weird but I think Pity Parties every now and then are normal. I think they serve to help us remember what’s really important. Consider it like a mental gut check. I think what builds character is how you come out of them and it sounds to me like you’re working through in a very healthy way. Because of that, you’ll be a stronger person.

  19. One thing I’ve learned from blogging is that just writing a post can change your entire mood – good or bad. Fortunately and/ or unfortunately, a good or bad run can do just the same and sometimes you don’t have as much control over that.

  20. Pity parties are needed- they are just part of life. I am currently in the midst of one, but I know that it too shall pass and I will probably feel much better because of it. Of course saying that now is hard because I sometimes I have difficult time seeing the positive side of things. I need to not be such a negative person sometimes and try, just try to see one positive thing in everything. In the time being I will have my little pity party and then totally forget about by the end of the week. Or I will just laugh at myself and move on.

  21. Britt @ Chicago Runner Girl says:

    I think we all have these days, it’s impossible no matter how positive you are about life to be 100% faithful and confident about every step you take all the time. It is all just leaks and valleys, and you my dear will climb out of that valley and soon enough be climbing life for your next peak.

    I had one of these days yesterday. Ran, or tried to, a 5k where I had to pull out at mile 2. Been nursing a stiff and fickle left knee for 10 days now and I was on pace for a sweet PR and most likely would have clocked a 18:30 finish. That was until my knee begun to raise hell and make me weigh the cost of it all where I decided a PR wouldn’t be worth the issues it would cause me later this week and for possibly weeks to come. While I’m okay with my decision, yes I have been having my very only solitary pity party about how I had to wave the white flag of surrender. But, these moments pass and the frustrations fizzle out making way for greater moments in life.

    Keep your head up girl because you are still a rockstar no matter where the road ahead leads you.

  22. I like a pity party now and then. It’s un-natural to be happy ALL the time. However, you are doing the right thing by focusing on what makes you happy. And if you are lacking in confidence, please know that you can kick my ass any day in a foot race! :) nice times!

  23. That is an awesome Saucony sale – look at those $14 shorts! Thanks for the link!

  24. Personally, I have found pity parties to be necessary. I get a chance to get out what’s bothering me (and sometimes it’s not exactly what I think it is) and then I gain some perspective. Helps me a lot!

  25. Im a huuuuge believer in them :)

    for me it is only through throwing said soiree I can embrace whatever it is Im feeling and move THROUGH AND PAST.

  26. We all have pity parties at times. It is natural. If you never feel sad you can’t totally appreciate the happiness! Thanks for sharing.

  27. I read this at the EXACT time I needed to!!! It made me feel better because someone else has them too! Some days are just like that. I was feeling SO annoyed today. Took the kids out on a LONG walk in the warm air and sunshine with a friend and her kids and it was fantastic. When we came in I was just annoyed. I wanted to be doing whatever I wanted to do instead of fixing them lunch and just being a patient mama. I was not very nice and i KNEW it and i got even madder. Like,,,WHAT gives me the RIGHT to act like this???!!!! And the thing with me is that NOTHING happened today…NOTHING was actually bad at all. Maybe i was as annoyed as the kids were that it was lunchtime and it was time to come inside, I don’t know but i yelled at them and immediately thought WHAT AM I DOING??? Thank you for always being so REAL with us your readers!!! You don’t know how you help all of us feel better about our days!!!

  28. Dorothy, you are pure awesomeness. Your honesty is as beautiful as your gorgeous children. Pity parties can be so helpful…as long as we don’t get mired in them. It helps to have at least one good friend who can help pull us out if that happens. When someone is as sensitive as you (or me) it can be so challenging to find those triggers. I’m glad you have running as your go-to as well as some solid friends! I look forward to seeing you in August when virtual hugs can be made real :)

  29. Life for me is rough right now too. I have been living in my pitty party as well for a few days now. I just don’t know where to go with out to get out of it. Ugh.

    I think sometimes they are needed. What’s wrong with feeling sorry for yourself sometimes? It gives you a moment to reevaluate your life.

  30. I think there are definitely times for the pity party. It can be a reflective time and I find they usually lead towards the “Aha” moment when you realize “OK, I’m so done with that”. Everyone deals with things in their own way, but if a pity party helps get you moving forward (whenever that is), then it can’t be all bad right?

    I hope things are looking brighter very soon for you! And I too have signed up for another marathon :) Boston just left me hungry (wink).

  31. I think it’s important to have a pity party and let it all out, as long as you put a time limit on it. At some point, you just have to move on. You did great! And signing up for a race is definitely a good therapy :)

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