Lately it seems that corners I turn are filled with negativity.

Someone telling me I did something wrong.

Someone telling me I didn’t call them enough.

Someone telling me that they didn’t like a picture I posted.

Someone telling me I didn’t tell them about a race I decided to run.

Someone telling me that I didn’t respond back to them fast enough.

Someone telling me that I work out too much or not enough.

Someone telling me that they don’t understand why someone who claims to be a private person would open up their life to the public on a blog.

Someone telling me how I should live my life.

Someone telling me what is the right path for me in life.

Someone telling me what my priorities should be.

Someone telling me I didn’t make time for them, or that I did but it wasn’t when they wanted it to be.

Someone telling me I need to say sorry.

The someones never seem to end. These comments turn into thoughts which play over and over in my head. I don’t want them any more. I can’t control others but I can control myself. I can control how I let these words and people affect me.

My husband reminds me that LIFE IS GOOD. That the people that really matter in life sleep just down the hall from me.

On the phone with my friend today we talked about how hard life can be. How complicated families and friendships are. How complicated all of life seems at times. She told me something profound that had been passed to her from another friend.

{I’m paraphrasing what she said and adding in some of my own words}

You may be a peach that is perfect in size, shape and color. You may be the sweetest peach that ever was. This does not matter. Some people don’t like peaches. Some people hate peaches. Some people feel ill thinking about eating a peach or even looking at one. Should the peach change into an apple and be like everyone else? Or should the peach remain a peach and BE OK with what it was created to be.

 

I can not make everyone happy.

I am not the perfect daughter, sister, friend, or even stranger, but I am ME.

Those that accept and love me matter and those that don’t — well they no longer matter to me. I don’t want them to change who they are for me, just as I don’t want to change who I am for them.

I want to practice what I preach and learn to live with agreeing to disagree.

I want to stop caring about trivial things. Life is too short and too sweet to waste.

At almost 31  I’m done with trying to understand what it is about me that bothers some and makes others love me. I’m done worrying about whether I upset someone with a picture I posted or with something I said or didn’t say.

I am doing the best I can in life – trying to be the best person I can be for me and for those I love. That is all I can ask of myself.

I am giving myself the permission to BELIEVE in my heart that —–

I AM ENOUGH.

I Am Enough

 

Comments

  1. This is such a great post and so true! i love your openness and I completely agree with you. I used to struggle with being a people pleaser but I am beginning to realize that that is to exhausting and I cannot make everyone happy all of the time!

  2. Preach on sista! You are who you were meant to be!

  3. Thank you for this post — it comes at a time in my life when I really need it. I have had 2 weeks of criticism for good intentions and best efforts. I love the peach analogy. Thanks for writing something that i needed just when I needed it.

  4. Yes, you are enough!

    I struggle with these issues frequently. I have to block the people pleasing part of my brain out. I have to learn to say “No” and do what I need to do for ME.

    Kim

  5. You are loved…. don’t let others negativity live in your head, do not give them permission, do not give them that kind of power… yes, you are not only enough, you are amazing.

  6. Bravo Dorothy!! Well said…and yes…you ARE enough :-) keep your chin up!

  7. Funny you used peaches as an example… My husband would trade me for a peach farm…seriously. Anyways… I think sometimes its tough blogging. 98% of the time all is good…inspiring, amazing and wonderful. And the other 2 % is well….crazy. I decided long ago to do my own thing, be honest and let it all go. You are incredibly inspiring. I wear my I RUN THIS BODY shirt to every PT apt. ANd….I will wear it on my 1st race bk. My recovery has been long and sometimes frustrating… but I know when I can run again…that 1st mile will be the BEST feeling ever. You are getting me there….So ignore the haters and rejoice in the fact that you are inspiring others!

    xoxo from Trinidad

  8. My wife is allergic to apples, so … :)

    There is just SO MUCH truth in what you say! It is something my wife and I have talked about for years – that we cannot be the people others want us to be, we can only be who we are – BUT THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH.

    My mother actually said to my wife a couple of years ago ‘I liked it better when Mike would put up and shut up and do what was expected of him …’. Mind you, we’ve been married 21 years, so those days are LONG gone!

    Thanks for sharing!

  9. Loved this post and can relate in so many ways! Life is good and sometimes I need to repeat this to myself more times during the day. It’s hard sometimes when people are so critical, especially those who do not even truly “know” us, but only from what they see on social media. You are enough. I am enough. And we are blessed with our families and our lives. Have a beautiful weekend! XO

  10. “I will do my best, and it will be enough”‘

  11. Oh my goodness….my husband just showed me a video on YouTube & I immediately thought of you after reading your blog today. I just needed to share it…..it’s called “A pep talk from Kid President” by Soulpancake. Check it out :-)

  12. Thank you for posting this! I think we all need a reminder like this every so often.

  13. Good post,
    A lot of truth in it.

  14. *golf claps* Amen!!!! :) Be YOU. <3

  15. Your peach analogy is great! You inspire so many people; so please don’t let a few drag you down! You are enough!

  16. You are so much more than all of that negativity!

  17. Erika S says:

    You are enough because God is more than enough and he made you!

  18. I love this, what a wonderful reminder of what’s really important.

  19. Colleen says:

    What an amazing post, I am absolutely blown away. Sometimes you just stumble upon things and read them and they are exactly what you need to see when you need to see it. Thanks!

  20. Boston Joe says:

    Anyone that’s ever been good at anything has haters. Have they been on magazine covers? Ran 24 marathons? Qualified for Boston? All that while rasing 3 kids? You are a BEAST and an inspiration to so many people. Don’t let the haters get you down. If they have time to criticize you, chances are they don’t have time to do anything productive with their own life.

  21. Great post.
    You can’t make everyone happy. You can only do your best to find your own happiness :-)
    Good luck staying strong :-)

  22. This is really amazing. I am saving this post and I will come back and read it over and over. As someone who struggles to break out of caring so much what other people think of me, I completely understand where you are coming from. I hope, hope, hope that you can really internalize everything you said here and truly focus on only the people that really matter and making yourself happy. It is a constant battle for me and I know how difficult it is. Try to remind yourself of the amazing things that have happened to you in the last 12 months and why those things happened…because you are a hard working, kind, smart, beautiful and an inspiring person.

  23. You will be amazed how free you will feel after making this decision. Kudos to you…talk about great personal growth!

  24. Dorothy,
    This may seem obvious, but as a 51 yr old mother of twin boys, I think that all of the at least some of the “someones” or “should do” is about where you are at in your life. Busy Mom with lots on your plate. I remember feeling that way when I was your age with young kids. I remember feeling like I was always in a position of giving my energy away to people that I did not want to.. By the time I got to my kids, my energy was gone. I made some significant changes and began to really watch what I said “yes” to and who I hung around avoiding the energy suckers at all costs!!!!

    It took through my 40’s to adopt your peach analogy and if you can adopt that now you will be ahead of the game! Good luck with it. You are more than good enough :)

  25. Sonja – I agree with you totally! I know this is a just a bit of a crazy time. I have been working on saying NO to more things, people, events, invites etc. What I am struggling with and maybe you have advice is getting others to understand that your choices don’t mean you don’t love them or don’t want to spend time with them. You literally are giving all you have and there is just about nothing left over. I want to be able to spend more quality meaningful time with my kids and husband instead of just going through the motions. You know what I mean? HELP!! :)

  26. Love this.

  27. Here’s a link of some quotes that may speak to you… they are from one of the most simplest, kindest, loving women ever. I hope something touches you.

    http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/226482.Marjorie_Pay_Hinckley

  28. I appreciate that you are willing to hearing suggestions. It shows an openness that will serve you well. You have a difficult situation on your hands and the fact that it concerns you so much, means these relationships mean a lot to you. If the people you are concerned about are family members, it makes it even harder. A candid conversation that includes you expressing your love for the person, letting them know that you are really doing the very best that you can and that at this time in your life, and that you need their understanding might help. Maybe you have had conversations like that to no avail??? Well, you can only control your side of the relationship. Have confidence you are doing the right thing.

    Just one more random thought… At a yoga class the instructor quoted the four agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz. I try to live by these and it helps me. Maybe you will find some serenity in these:
    1. Be impeccable to your word
    2. Don’t take anything personally
    3. Don’t make assumptions
    4. Always do your best

    Easier said then done, but worth trying. We are all a work in progress. Best to you!

  29. You are such a brilliant writer and wise, inspiring soul. I love reading your thoughts.

  30. Your posts are always so applicable to others! I really love this. I have stopped living my life to please others and am doing what’s best for ME.
    Last week I lost an old family friend at the age of 24. (today would be his 25th birthday). While fighting my depression lately has been so hard-his tragic heart attack caused me to really appreciate and LOVE the life that I live. Why waste my precious time trying to please others.
    <3

  31. Do what you do, your real friends and family know you. And you are right, you are enough lady. :)

  32. Sue Jones says:

    One word of advice – quit whining and stop putting your personal life out there. You are luck to still have a husband. You are very self centered and obsessive about all things you. That is your problem – it’s all about YOU all the time.

  33. Therese D says:

    Fantastic entry! I love it. As I have gotten older I realized that you will make yourself crazy (and terribly upset) trying to please everyone. You won’t , that’s just the way it is. Your husband is right, not everyone likes peaches. One you accept that, you have to accept that you can’t waste your time trying to figure out why.

    The important thing to remember is that you have to be true to yourself. Real friends and people who truly love you will ALWAYS be there.

    Thanks for another great post and for being so real.

  34. Great post, Dorothy! It is so difficult to say no, say yes, please this one, please that one, and on, and on, and on. It becomes so exhausting that you don’t have anything left for yourself! It took me so long (and actually I’m still a work in progress) to take care of myself first which then allowed me to take care of my children, husband, etc. This is why I run! It is my time. Some may call it selfish and some may think I’m crazy, but it’s freaking mine!! Keep doing what you’re doing and follow your heart in the process. You know what’s right. Be fabulous!!

    ***On a side note, I wondered if you feel there is more negativity around you as you have become more successful?? If you have time, I would love to hear your thoughts on this….maybe even in an upcoming post.

  35. Hey Sue – Not sure why you keep commenting about my husband…but yes I am lucky to have him and I feel sorry for you that you spend your free time commenting on my blog and worrying about my life when you should probably be worrying about yourself. Have a wonderful night!

  36. I have the poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver on my bathroom mirror for the days that I struggle with this. (Also – maybe give yourself permission to just delete some of the comments that are over the line? or that are personal attacks? Life is short. You have every right not to indulge abusive people.) I love your blog – have never commented except for this, but I read each post and really enjoy them!

  37. I love your blog so much! You and I have a lot in common and you always post what I am feeling too! Keep your head up beautiful!

  38. This is a wonderful post. You are enough. Have you read any of Brené Brown’s books or seen her TED talks? As we all struggle to appreciate that we are enough, she has shared some really inspiring stuff. If you have a chance, you should check it out. And keep remembering that you are enough.

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