If you have been reading this blog from the beginning, this statement will come as ZERO surprise to many of you. My priorities are often completely OUT OF WACK. It’s easier to see these things on the outside looking in.

It’s a hard thing to admit something negative about yourself to others, but it’s even harder, in my opinion, to truly admit it to yourself.

This morning at Colton’s pre-school last day of school party, I lamented to Eric that I wish I had volunteered at the kids schools more when I had the time. He told me I still could and I in typical fashion – asked how am I supposed to do that now? I’m so busy.

Yes I’m busy, but I’m often busy with the WRONG things. We are as busy as we choose to be in reality – everything in life is a series of choices and sacrifices.

Point of rocks 13

Chloe has a field day coming up at her school, we have as a family been at the beach when it’s happened in the past, we won’t be this year. I fondly remember as a child Field Day being one of the best days of the entire school year. One of the type of days that you looked forward to from the beginning of the school year and the type of day that you chatted with your friends at lunch about how awesome the last one was.

I can’t volunteer this year because of a FANTASTIC opportunity that came up with a cool running magazine. Emphasis on the fantastic word because for the past 5 years or so that I’ve been blogging I have said this a lot to Eric. I HAVE to do this or I HAVE to go here – this is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity. Maybe those opportunities were once in a lifetime but as they became more frequent it weighed on my family. It hit a breaking point when Eric told me, you have once in a lifetime opportunities every other month, which means they are not once in a lifetime anymore and maybe you should pick only a couple YOU REALLY want to do rather than doing every one you think you should do. Oh but they will grow my social media numbers was always my excuse, or I will meet new fun people and make great contacts. All valid points until you realize WHO REALLY GIVES A SH$T how many followers you have on twitter if you aren’t spending time with the people who matter. At the time I was was completely blind to this. I truly believe that God opens your heart only when he deems you are ready. So I stuck to my guns, didn’t admit I was wrong, and rationalized that he was wrong and he just didn’t understand. He understood fine. He had his family and kids as his priority, not “once in a lifetime opportunities.”

So as I sit here I am dreading writing the email that will potentially ruin my relationship with a company and a good contact BUT I sit here also happy that for ONCE I’m getting it right.

I’m going to volunteer all day at Field Day and then on Saturday I’ll get to watch Miles play baseball first thing in the morning – I won’t likely have time to run that morning before his game and that also is OK because running is awesome but MILES is more awesome. He should be my priority – not making sure I get in a run. I have the rest of my life to run, but sweet Miles will only be 6 and playing t-ball once so I’m going to treasure every game I go to, one day he likely won’t even care I’m there. For now I will eat up every wink he shoots me from the field and save up these memories in my memory bank so I can look back on them when I’m old and grey.

Miles May

It’s okay if we fall or make mistakes, we are human. I’ve made more mistakes in my 32 years than some people make in a lifetime…..but I learn, I grow, and I hopefully am a better person, friend, mother, sister, daughter, etc. on the other side.

I don’t like the wrinkles that come with age but I do like the wisdom. In the past couple of months I have enjoyed getting to know myself better. I’ve been hit with many a harsh reality about my personality but I do believe that a year from now or five years from now I will be thankful for the process that truly allowed me to learn the good, the bad and the ugly about myself – hopefully getting rid of more of the later two will allow more room for the first. One can hope :)

 

It’s a rainy day here and I love it. Rain is restorative to me……………..Chloe was born on a day much like today so it seems fitting that today I’m choosing her over another once in a lifetime {what does that even mean – isn’t every moment once in a lifetime?} opportunity.

With restoration comes happiness…….

 

Comments

  1. I love this post, thank you! So true that we must make time for the things that are important to us. I could always work another hour, but the time I spend with my family is more important, and much more memorable.

  2. Good for you! You won’t regret it! Praying for you :)
    Laura recently posted..Seven for SaturdayMy Profile

  3. Good for you! As a mom we’ve all been there. And sometimes we find ourselves being busy with things that won’t really matter. Enjoy the time with your little ones. I hope for my kids those are the stories they will never forget! <3
    Renee @ Bendiful Blog recently posted..Yoga on the Menu: Humble PieMy Profile

  4. Good job. If you put God first, everything else will fall in line. A lesson I am learning myself these days….
    Sara recently posted..Morning Runners Unite! This Evening!My Profile

  5. Oh, how I love the way you say you’ve been hit with harsh realities about your own personality — we all have pieces of us that need refining! I feel like the past few years God’s been working within me and the qualities that may not demonstrate Him through me. Kind of feels terrible at first, and then it’s freeing and wonderful when you start to make necessary adjustments and truly live. Happy for you that you’re finding a good balance and living the life that provides joy to you AND those around you!

  6. Great post!! Yes, Miles is more awesome!!! He is such a cutie! Enjoy the time with your loved ones!! #lifeismoreimportantthanrunning
    Dora recently posted..Bull Run Run 50 MilerMy Profile

  7. Great post and as a wife, mother, runner, plus I work full time it is completely about balance.
    I have to admit even my MARRIAGE has suffered in the past year due to running commitments or blogging about running. My husband felt like he was on the shelf waiting to be picked up. He lacked my attn. If we went on vacation the first question was “Can I still work out?”. Same with my daughter’s after school activities such as band. I want to inspire people and keep pushing myself so I can have more opportunities but I have not found the money tree, I am not single and I have a family. Its all about balance and knowing what your priorities are. I applaud you for this post and your honesty. Its nice to know I am not alone.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Great post! You will never regret picking the most important people in your life. xoxo

  9. - life is all about finding the right balance, hard to do sometimes. Happy for you and your family (and your great husband). Kids grow so quickly, time passes. My one and only is graduating high school next week, then off to college, I have to find more hobbies, start running more..

  10. This is great! I know God will bless you as you put Him and your family first. Balence is something every mom struggles with. Wonderful you realize while there are still lots of childhood to be made.
    Amy recently posted..Boy oh boyMy Profile

  11. This post reminds me of a quote I saw on a church sign a few months ago. I actually took a picture of it because I didn’t want to forget it. It is: “We always have time for the things we put first.” It really hit home with me because running is often the first thing I do everyday and I make it my priority. Then I sometimes complain why I don’t get some other things done. It is hard finding balance. I accepted long ago that I do not have time or energy to promote/ push my blog social media-wise. Sure I like it when people comment, or like a Facebook picture/ blog post but like you said- the people that matter most are the ones I’m raising everyday. I honestly don’t worry a bit about twitter, Instagram, etc. It is very freeing.

  12. You can do this by ensuring they eat sufficient fruit and vegetables.
    “Methylcobalamin is required for the function of the folate-dependent enzyme, methionine synthase. In a 2006 research study, it was discovered that reading and math skills were a stumbling block to deciphering the confusing labels on many foods.
    four hour body athletic greens recently posted..four hour body athletic greensMy Profile

  13. Good for you!!! I think you are spot on in this post! It is hard to recognize and admit the things that we are doing wrong and even harder to change them! This convicts me also….but it is very true that when we are old we are NEVER going to look back on our life and wish we had more twitter followers or more facebook fans or even run that 1 more race…we will look back however and realize how fast time went by and how much we fun we had with our loved ones!!!!
    Jen@milesandblessings recently posted..Seriously amazing!!!!!My Profile

  14. Great post! I think it’s really easy to lose sight of what is really important in life. The kids grow up so quickly and you can never get those days back. Finding balance is hard but so worth it.
    Deborah Brooks @ Confessions of a Mother Runner recently posted..My kids favorite Banana BreadMy Profile

  15. Spending time with the kiddies is a once in a lifetime opp. You won’t get that moment in time back. If the running mag really wants you, it will be when its right for you.
    runinboise recently posted..Fitness Trackers? Which Ones?My Profile

  16. It’s easy to make mistakes when it comes to deciding between things that are important to us. I am sure your family is your first priority and will always be! But sometimes we get sigh tracked by a special opportunity, or for whatever silly reason (even if we shouldn’t).
    I know you’ll have a great time with your kids, other opportunities will come along.
    2 Cups ‘N Run recently posted..My Mary Poppins Gym Bag and LockerMy Profile

  17. This is beautifully written. It’s so true, every moment is once in a lifetime and your life is a collection of those moments.
    Hollie recently posted..Running MusicMy Profile

  18. Kimberly Guzzi says:

    I’m so thankful you posted this. I am a full time blogger, I work 7 days a week, and it’s taken me 4 years to discover this myself. None of it matters as much as my family. It’s a very hard balance, but the bottom line is the blog has to stop sometimes…and I needed this reminder! THANK YOU from one mom blogger to another!!

  19. This exactly is why I’m running marathons now. Honestly, those mini human beings are in the near future and the last thing I want to do after working a full time job, commuting 2hrs a day, is spend one second away from my minis when they’re awake Running, blogging, and pretty much everything else is going to be on hold for a few years because those little baby years never come back. I photograph all of my friend’s families and it’s amazing to see the differences between a child at 6 months and 9 months. I can’t even imagine when they’re 6 because every day is something new. Blogging and running are awesome, but you know who shows up when you’re at a race or blog function – you’re family. When was the last time blogging/running showed up for a family event?
    Heidi recently posted..Open Walls BaltimoreMy Profile

  20. I couldn’t have read your post on a better day. Today was my husband’s birthday and I know I really hurt his feelings because after I gave him his present (I did a scavenger hunt with a series of presents), I told him I was going to go for a run. I did ATTEMPT to go for a run this morning but he told me that I could just go after work, and he wouldn’t care if I did. When I said I wanted to go running after work, he didn’t say he was but I could tell he was really hurt. So I chose him over my run. Part of me feels selfish for even saying I wanted to go for a run and the other part is kicking myself for not going! I think that as runners we can all be selfish (you kind of have to be, how else would you get the time in to train for that marathon?). Although I’m still upset, my marathon training will still be there tomorrow (as long as I don’t take too many days off), but I only have one husband in life and he means the world to me!
    Lis @ 26.2×2 recently posted..Happy Non-Birthday and a My Soxy Feet Giveaway!My Profile

  21. Being a Mama is TOUGH! Finding that perfect balancing point is like…impossible. You see all these moms on Pinterest doing SH$T with there kids like ALL the time. I’ve decided in order to balance things out, to spend time doing ONE thing EVERY day with each of my kids, whether it’s doing a puzzle or playing on the playground. Finding the balance between being you and being there for your favorites is tough. Girl, you are an inspiration to me.
    Sara recently posted..Throwback Thursday {{LINKUP}}My Profile

  22. Sounds good to me :)
    MILF Runner recently posted..How to celebrate. (aka Shameless Birthday Pimp/Attention Whore Post)My Profile

  23. Love.This.So.Much. xoxo
    Sarah @RunFarGirl recently posted..Every Run Has A Purpose: Run the Run You’re InMy Profile

  24. So so true, I am the rat race myself always having to do more important things than the things that matter. I was filming my kid while she was walking, instead of enjoying the moment. Who cares about blogs, numbers and pictures in the end it is all about the here and now. That is what our loved ones will remember when the are all grown up. So you very right if you so NO to very nice opportunities and YES to the simple things in life.
    chantal tijbosch recently posted..My races 2014 – updateMy Profile

  25. I thought about what you’ve said: “rain is restorative for me”… and instantly recalled what happened just this morning. I got caught in the rain. It was a total frenzy of big rain drops. I got wet from toes to head, although I was wearing a hat. Only in such a moment I felt restored. When watching the rain, I feel somehow upset.

    Any idea why this feeling? I’m surely not the only guy in town experimenting this…
    Jim Mandoli recently posted..7 Best Ear Wax Removal Kit Reviews (2014). Comparison Chart. Home Remedy Guide. Plus, Best Amazon Deals (w. Free Shipping)My Profile

  26. Great post. I have not been reading blogs a lot lately, but this post caught my eye. It is a lesson I have learned as I have gotten older. Watching my kids, especially my daughter who is 12, change in a blink of an eye. Although I love running it is not my career. It is my calm and this past year I had to remember that. My life is my family and my career is nursing. As I head back to school this fall to become a nurse practitioner I realized there are things I have to let go, like my blog. I also realized running needs to remain my calm and nothing more. I have big goals with my career and need to focus on them + my family.:)

  27. Good for you! I am having a hard time finding the balance since becoming a mom. Am I being selfish? Am I just being lazy and finding an excuse not to run? Should I rethink marathon training while I have a baby and stick to shorter distances? And on and on and on.

    It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is but when you have a moment where you know what’s best your family, it’s so awesome that you can go with it, even when it means letting some other stuff go.

  28. I read this with chills on my arms. First off, you are such a beautiful writer–you have such a way with words. Second, it is all so very true. I go in and out of focusing on family, the my blog and running, I think I have finally found a happy medium, but I have to check myself constantly. Thank you for the beautiful reminder. Hugs to you from SoCal. xoxoxo
    Lisa @ RunWiki recently posted..Mountain 2 Beach Marathon 2014 RecapMy Profile

  29. My boys are grown and on their own, and everyday I miss having them at home. One of the things that makes it easier, and that I’m most proud of, is that I never missed any of their activities. I drove them to school, picked them up, and was always there when they needed something. They were (and still are) my number one priority.

    You’re making the right choice, and will never regret choosing your children over anything. Your kids have an awesome mom – don’t forget that.

  30. Dorothy, I have mixed feelings about this post. As a SAHM, you are already spending a great deal of time with your children, more than many mothers with their children. You should not have to feel guilty about not volunteering for a field day. Most parents (yup, that includes dads) do not.

    What YOU want, what makes your heart sing, also matters. I would agree with you that it’s good to reject the running magazine’s offer if the ONLY reason you wanted it was to increase your social media standing – because that’s more about external gratification than it is about fulfilling your internal dreams. But do YOU really want it, because it makes you feel alive? Then you should do it, and your family should understand. In the family, what makes you happy also matters. You have to be a fulfilled human being not only because it makes you a better wife and mother, but also because you matter as a human being.

    Too often I see women think they need to sacrifice themselves to everyone else, and don’t take the time to make themselves happy. I’m not saying that that’s what you’re doing here, but it’s something we all need to be careful to avoid. We need to know that our happiness and fulfillment matter too.

    • yup. I will miss my kids’ field days because I will be doing a job I love, as will my husband. When I was in field day growing up my parents weren’t there. They didn’t need to be – that was my thing. I think the stay at home mommies that don’t have as much of a life or hobbies or drive as this woman are maybe letting them get to her a little….

      The best things come out of life when it’s out of balance…”life balance” is a fallacy people talk about when they feel they want to or are obligated to slow down and do less in life. Nobody ever accomplished anything exception or special or great or meaningful by having a healthy “life balance”.
      Kathy recently posted..Export Your GoDaddy Quick Blogcast Account to WordPress.comMy Profile

      • Kathy, you brought up a good point re: balance. You never hear husbands or dads worrying about whether they are achieving “balance.” It’s only women who get obsessed about this nebulous concept that may not be worth attaining.

        I felt that something was off reading Dorothy’s description of how her husband talked to her about how she shouldn’t do these “once in a lifetime” opportunities. She doesn’t tell us the whole story, but I don’t imagine he had any intention to volunteer for his child’s field day. And he didn’t even have an opportunity like hers! Was HE feeling guilty about it? If not, why should she?

        And why for heaven’s sake is he trying to make her feel guilty about it? These ARE once in a lifetime opportunities. They may not be for Dorothy, technically speaking, because as an amazing runner she’ll frequently receive offers. But these are the types of opportunities that most of us could never have – so if you average it across the whole population of runners, these are better than once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. I can’t even understand why he’s complaining about it if they only happen every other month; that’s only 6 times a year, for crying out loud. She’s a superstar runner. She should feel no guilt for doing the activities associated with her passion.

  31. Perfect way to put it! I loved every word, because every word you said is true! I’m so happy for you and your family!!! Have fun at field day!
    LauraMae recently posted..How to relax on your day off work…not off runningMy Profile

  32. Cheers to you for seeing things clearly. As I juggle an almost-two-year-old and a seven-week-old, I have to remind myself I will get a break in the day… maybe not when I want it, but it will come (she says just having showered AND shaved AND blow-dried her hair! :) Being present and seeing things as they truly are always sounds good in theory, but is much harder in practice. You struggle, as I struggle, as all mothers struggle to find a balance. It is important that we care for ourselves so we care for our families better, but knowing which battles to fight is the hard part. Again, cheers to you for your victory. Live & learn.

  33. I read this with tears in my eyes. Especially when I got to the part about Miles and his t-ball. I totally relate to this and find myself getting caught up in all of he other things that certainly FEEL important, but aren’t as important as my family. I constantly have to check myself and I think I need to do some serious social media account thinking– as in, which can I let go of. I don’t NEED to be on all kinds out there. Yes, it’s great to connect with others, but I need to put my energy where it counts. Hugs to you and good luck on the things to come!

  34. Great post. It’s totally important to take a step back and put things in perspective. I can totally relate. Finding balance is very difficult and it’s not something that comes easily. Thanks for sharing.

  35. Nothing is better than a little perspective to get our priorities back in line!
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  36. All too often do people, including me, lose track of what is important in life! I am someone who works A LOT in the office and at home. I am learning that sometimes we need to take time for ourselves and for our loved ones. I enjoy my work so much but there is a healthy balance that needs to be maintained or our relationships will suffer. Great insight in this post!

  37. Everyone losses site of what’d important in life, or what should be. But it is still up to them, not others to say their priorities are all messed up. You figured yours out for yourself. Good for you!

    Mike
    http://www.marty427.blogspot.com
    Mike recently posted..How True:My Profile

  38. You DEFINITELY made the right decision. Stick to your guns, and stick with your family. Take it from someone with a less than perfect extended family – It’ll pay off exponentially.

  39. Totally agree with you – we get so caught up in the day to day that it’s hard to take a step back and put things in perspective. This post is a good reminder for me to do so – thanks for sharing!

  40. Totally agree with you Mile. I think it’s so easy to get into habitual day routines that you almost forget what is really important in life. You spend your time and one day you realize that you are doing is totally unimportant in your life, it won’t make it better.

Trackbacks

  1. […] also maintain my weight. Dorothy Beal from Mile Posts this week wrote a very touching post. “Getting My Priorities Straight“ where she even admits she struggles with her race commitments and family time. This was HUGE […]

  2. […] I vowed to never let running ruin time with family and friends. And I need to stick by that.  I read this post from @milespost (one of my favorite runner bloggers) and it puts everything into perspective and made me feel like […]

  3. […] Getting My Priorities Straight via Mile Posts because it can be tough to balance all that life throws at us and decide what needs to come first. […]

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