Monday was my last double stroller run of Chloe’s first year of school. Four miles pushing both boys, who seem to get bigger and heavier weekly.
Yesterday marked day one of Chloe being home for the summer. It is not the first time by any stretch of the imagination that I have had all three kids for long periods of time, but it does mark the first time that there is basically no end in sight as to when she will be back at school.
I know I am being dramatic because in three short months she will be back there full time, and I will be back to pushing both boys on the trail in a double running stroller, but it seems far off now.
Do not get me wrong, I love my daughter, I love all three of my kids. It just happens to be that they are at very hard ages, maybe all ages are, but these seem particularly hard. Chloe is 4, Miles is 3 and Colton is 7 months. Chloe and Miles fight like cats and dogs. Colton is a baby and babies need LOTS of attention.
There may or may not have been an ear biting incident yesterday where my daughter thought she was Mike Tyson and attacked Miles. I’ll tell you this though my kids are good kids – I can not image how much worse it would be if they were bad.
Yesterday also marked day two of eating gluten free. I will discuss this more at length later, but because of some health issues I have been having I have decided that gluten is the problem. I got tested for Celiac’s disease and do not have it that extreme, but do have an intolerance too it, very much similar to my lactose intolerance. While on the way home from Trader Joe’s for my first gluten free grocery trip, I looked to the car to the left of me – the last 3 digits in the license plate were 818. I knew I was making the right decision.
My alarm went off at 4 am on Wednesday morning. My running clothes had been set out the night before so I would not have any reason not to get up and run. I could not bring myself to get out of bed to run.
You see with Chloe being home this presents yet another challenge to my running. I WILL ADAPT.
I often get asked how I find time to run. I don’t find time. I don’t have any spare time. I have to MAKE TIME each and every day I want to run. I have to FIND and KEEP my motivation ALL day long. I do not know on any given day now when I will get to run.
If I want to run in the morning I will need to get up at 4 and start running by 4:15 in order to be back in time for my husband to go to work. If I want to hit the treadmill for a short run I can do that by getting up at 4:45 and starting by 5 am. If I want to run outside I am going to have to wait till my husband gets home from work and gets settled. Most days this will mean running in the heat at 4pm. If it does not work to run in the afternoon on days he works late then I will either have to run when he gets home or run on the treadmill after I get all 3 kids to bed. One morning I will get to do a longer run if I bring my children to my mother in laws. I am on the hunt for a triple running stroller that will actually work for distances up to 8 miles and one that does not cost $1,000.
It is not going to be an easy summer in terms of running.
I literally was on the verge of tears all day yesterday. Every fight my kids had made me sad, not mad, sad. I chose to feel sorry for myself all day about my running. I tried to fight off my negativity a couple of times, telling myself that my kids, my husband and God are the most important things in my life. Not running. It would work in spurts but the truth of the matter was, I wanted to be sad about my running, I wanted to mourn the fact that I couldn’t just take the kids out running in the double stroller. I did not talk to any friends, I did not leave the house.
When my husband got home, I had to run. I was tired, and did not want to, yet I wanted to. Make sense?
I took off on an run of an undetermined distance and headed towards a neighboring town. I chose to head that way because the roads are usually pretty desolate. I have never run these roads at after 4pm. Cars, cars, and cars - it was packed, which meant that my road run turned into a run that was on roads, paths, gravel, dirt and at times grass.
The run was supposed to be easy and it felt relatively easy compared to my typical double stroller run. The first mile was:
This run was supposed to be easy, which for my summer training is somewhere between an 8:25 pace and a 7:40 pace. These miles were way too fast to be easy. Then it hit me. All the HARD runs I go on pushing my kids makes running alone seem easy. My pace was what I would consider crazy fast for an easy run, yet it somehow felt easy. I take that back – there was a 1/2 mile segment during mile 6 that was literally up a giant hill. I powered up that hill at the same pace – telling myself it would not break my stride. It would not beat me. It did not and I kept a strong pace, finishing the mile with a 7:36.
I came back feeling renewed and was in a much better mood than when I left.
I’ll figure out my running this summer. I will not let a change push me down. I will adapt, as I always do. I will not give up on running, it has never given up on me.
In the meantime I promise to enjoy this craziness. One day I know I will look back on this summer and reminisce about my children being this little, about how hard it was, but how I would do it all over again if I had to.
Do you have free time to run every day or do you MAKE time because running is a priority to you?